This week has certainly been a busy week, as bowls starts to really get going. This will be my first proper season, where I get to play in inter-club games. They are on a Wednesday morning and a Saturday morning and we are expected to put up our hand for both. Add on to that the regular Tuesday morning Ladies roll-up followed by a mixed roll-up in the afternoon and you get the idea that there is a lot on. Oh, I nearly forgot there is also Saturday afternoon mixed roll-up. Roll-ups are casual and a great way to practice in a non-competition form. They are also very much optional, so if needing a rest or time out for anything, that space is available.
So, as with any week, I have had some good games and some not so good ones. This is common with all bowlers, with even those who are quite experienced having the odd rubbish bowl or even a whole rubbish game. So, I am in good company!
So, I had one particularly bad game where I just couldn’t figure out which hand to play, the forehand or the backhand. Normally, you can suss this out pretty quickly and often bowlers have a preference during each game. I couldn’t figure it out and I am not completely sure why. As mentioned above, there are inter-club games listed and we were all given the information this week of where and when we will be playing and who we will be playing. That is for both the Wednesday morning inter-club and the Saturday morning inter-club games. There have had to be some substitutions and I got a bit confused about what was going on and asked one of our senior members to explain to me.
So, on Thursday afternoon I got a call from the senior member I have mentioned and she was talking to me about maybe cutting back on playing bowls and not to have a full day on a Tuesday. She inferred it was a bit much for me – perhaps she sees my rubbish afternoon caused by this – and suggested I cut back. I thanked her for her concern and said I would think on it. However, later on that afternoon, I got to thinking about what she said. I started to feel a bit upset.
The reason I started to feel upset, is that here was a person 20 years older than me, who does more than me, intimating that I wasn’t able to cope with the amount of bowls I have been doing. She had suggested I not do a full day on a Tuesday as an example. As a bit of background, I have found a new friend who has recently joined our club and we have a wee routine now where we come for Ladies’ morning on Tuesday mornings, have a packed lunch together and then stay and play from 1pm for the mixed roll-up. We have both been enjoying our new routine.
So, again why was I upset? I was upset because my whole focus at the moment is increasing gradually the amount of exercise and activity to make the most of where I am on my Parkinson’s journey. I am aiming to do more activity, not less as I lose weight and build up my stamina. Coming out of four years of basically no exercise and having had three major operations in four years is a lot to fight back from. My latest, being my back operation I was told by the surgeon that it would in all likelihood take 12 months till I had a reasonable level of recovery. I have not quite reached that milestone, but feel I am gradually getting better.
I wonder whether she (the experienced bowler) would have had that discussion with me if she didn’t know I had Parkinson’s? Perhaps she put my tiredness down to my Parkinson’s, when I am sure it is not the cause. One thing I shared with her, is that I have slowed processing and I might need more information and clarification than some. This does not have too much affect at the moment, as long as I am given time to digest information. It does not stop me from driving safely or from playing bowls. My plan has always been to have my recovery from my back surgery, do what I have been told to do to rehabilitate my back and I would be able to start doing more exercise and especially bowls.
It is essential to me, that I keep progressing and increasing my level of activity, not reducing it. I can’t stand the thought of having to give things up, not yet! So, I think I just have to listen to my body and do my best to live a healthier lifestyle and also hopefully lose weight.
The other thing that I am doing is getting back into swimming. Proper swimming. Not aqua jogging. Aqua jogging was the primary exercise that has helped my back recovery, but now is the time to swim properly. So, I have been getting back to swimming freestyle for the past month or so. Not that I was ever a great swimmer, but I could do OK. I bought myself a pair of snazzy rainbow coloured flippers, which I feel help me to swim better and I figure with one side more affected than the other, it will help me to have a more efficient kick.
The one thing that I am still very hit and miss on, is my breathing. I am still swallowing water at times and that can be very disconcerting. I have to pause at each end and rest till my heart rate slows down, because I get puffed from my breathing not being right. But, I am persevering and hopefully it will just be a matter of practising. One of the life guards has said she thinks I am doing really well and that my swimming has a better flow and looks more natural. Hopefully, I will soon stop drinking the pool and get my breathing right.
The long and the short of it is this.
- I need to gradually increase my exercise tolerance, not reduce it.
- I need others to not judge me and try to get me to cut back, just because – perhaps – they think I am doing too much.
- I neither want nor need people to think that they know what is best for me because of my Parkinson’s. Perhaps they know others with this condition and judge my resilience by theirs. I am not them, I am capable and able to assess my own abilities unique to my own situation and how my Parkinson’s affects me. Not by others.
- I need encouragement – doesn’t everyone – not people telling us to slow down, to give in, to do less or to let Parkinson’s or anything else make us cut back before we need to. I am not ready to give in just yet.
- Others may see us looking tired. Others may be trying to help. But, what I need very much from everyone is trust that I know my body and trust that if I say I am OK that I am indeed OK.
My journey with Parkinsons 