Not long after leaving my children’s father, I got my first tattoo. It was a reaction to my having been married young and now divorced and feeling like I had slipped into being almost middle aged and boring even though I wasn’t even 30! I wanted to do something to show my new independence and so my first tattoo was born. It is only a small one that I drew myself, but it started me on a bit of a journey.
As of today, I have six tattoos all having various significance, one is simply because I love fantails!
You will see in the picture on the left there are a couple of dates. Originally, I did not have the full date as I did not want people to necessarily know that they were dates. The colourful things underneath are fireworks going off. After a year or so, I decided to complete the dates and add my son Adam’s name. This was because I had this sudden thought come to me that I might one day forget the date he was born or the day he passed and I knew I would be distressed if this happened. The fireworks were because he was born two days before Guy Fawkes and we lead him to believe that fireworks were the world celebrating his birthday when he was little.
On my other arm there was previously only a heart with an “A” for Adam. It has been there on it’s own for a few years now. I started to feel like I wanted something more on this arm, but at first wasn’t sure what. Then I started to get the feeling that having something to do with Valhalla was what I wanted. Valhalla, by my understanding was a Viking belief that this was a place where warriors who died in battle went when they died. Viking heaven in effect! I had always liked that concept of a reward for battling through life would be Valhalla at the end of it.
So, I searched for something that represented Valhalla and this symbol kept coming up. I decided that was my tattoo. I realised a few days ago, why I had decided to put “Valhalla” on that arm with the heart for Adam. It is because the heavenly reference applies to my son and is where I hope one day to be reunited with him. My life has been a battle at times and especially now with this diagnosis. The other day it dawned on me, why my tattoos were what they were and why I chose them and built them to this stage. I realised that all the tattoos on my arms relate to my son who passed away. By getting the tattoos that I have, to me symbolises my wrapping my arms round my son. Something I hope I can do again one day.
We all have different ways of marking special events in our lives. Of honouring the memories, we have of those special people we have lost. For me, I think my tattoo journey is complete now and I love the story I have in my heart of why I have chosen them, for the love of my oldest son, who I miss every day.
My journey with Parkinsons 