Tis the season for family and forgiveness

I don’t know if other people do this very much, but today I have gone through my Facebook friends and my contacts on my phone and reviewed whether they are still friends that I am in contact with. If I don’t feel like we are in contact anymore, I have culled them.

The interesting thing is that there are two people between my phone and my Facebook account that not so long ago I couldn’t have dreamed I would ever be in touch with. They are my children’s father on my phone – he doesn’t do FB – and his partner on FB, for if I need to get her to liaise with him in relation to family matters.

For many, many years when my children were younger and I was married to my second husband, I could not have ever imagine I would (a) have his phone number and (b) that my husband knows that I have his number and does not read anything inappropriate into it. That to me feels really healthy. It shows that my husband not only loves me, but that he trusts me too. Of course, when I need to talk to my children’s father, I always let my husband know that I have done so.

I feel I have wasted years of time and energy putting negative vibes into the universe about the man who was partly responsible for my having three beautiful children. What did it take to change that situation? The sudden death of our eldest son Adam four years ago. We came together in our joint grief for our son and now have that to bond us as we do our best to be parents to our remaining children, for both their sakes and for our own. We also have six grandchildren and my husband and I – who is Grampy to them and loved by them all – and we will be forever bound in that way.

So, it feels like we have both let go of whatever baggage and ill feeling we might have had towards each other and can move forward as friends.

We owe it to our children and grandchildren and also importantly to our partners, his partner and my husband that they don’t have to go through the drama that can happen between exes. They have had sufficient over the years and I am glad that it looks like it won’t happen again.

So, in this season of goodwill that we are entering, I hope that we can wish all of those we care about – even ex-husband’s (as appropriate) – health and happiness in the new year to come.

We have enough struggles as we age, with health and other issues of ageing.

We don’t need unnecessary drama and stress piled on top.

You can choose to let it go if you can.

I have and it feels good!