My husband and I have been a strong team, just the two of us ever since we met. We know what we each need to be happy and we try very much to support each other to get those things that support us. It has been us against the world at times and more frequently than we would have liked. We have led an – at times – a very complicated life because of my health and work stuff and just life. I do seem to attract complexity in my life one way or another.
Through all that the universe has seen fit to throw at us, we have stood firm in our love and support for each other. Like many successful partnerships, we fill each other’s gaps. What he is not so good at – or doesn’t like – often I can do myself and most of the time happy to do so. What I am not so good at, he is usually able to do and usually do very well. We have our roles in our marriage and we share some tasks between us and often do things together, like sorting out our lovely garden and keeping it looking nice.
However….
At the moment, I have a long list of things I cannot and should not do. My GP sternly told me recently that I should not be doing anything in the garden. I am not to climb on stepladders or stepstools. I can’t reach up to get things because sharp pains shoot down my legs. I struggle, but I can only just make the bed. I can’t vacuum, even the stick vacuum is too heavy. I wouldn’t be able to pick up even the littlest of the grandies.
I can’t cook and my husband has had to jump in feet first and be the chief cook and bottle washer. I can’t stand long enough to do either the cooking or the dishes. My husband does the dishes and the washing and the vacuuming and the gardening and the cleaning and the shopping and the ferrying me here, there and everywhere…
There are probably other things that he does, but this is such a huge load for him.
I miss being a working member of our partnership.
Part of a team.
Someone who is able to pull their weight.
Someone who can bake little treats or make delicious meals.
Someone who can go out in the car and do some of the chores such as groceries, so it’s not all on him.
Someone with a mission and purpose and can contribute.
Right at the moment, I can’t do much of anything and that is getting difficult to put up with.
I am wishing away the time for the next two months or so till I get my operation. When I wake up from the surgery, I am hoping that I will no longer have pain in my legs. This pain has been significant and constant for about four months and has been – quite literally – a pain in the arse!
So, roll on 2025 the year I hope to get my life back and earn my place back on the team of two that is myself and my husband!
My journey with Parkinsons 