So this is it…

I woke up this morning and my first thought was that I will no longer be a Social Worker when this day is done. It will be a strange feeling when I leave at the end of the day, knowing that I will never walk into that building again as an employee and most of all as a Social Worker.

For 20 years – 11 of them in my current position – I have been working with people and hopefully helping them. I have learned a lot about myself in those 20 years. I have had the loss of my parents to Parkinson’s and of course my son Adam, taken from us all too soon.

I have continued to go to work, while I work through my grief and the loss especially of my son. I have worked through earthquakes, I have worked with wonderful people and challenging people. I have doubted myself and my judgement on many occasions and yet people seem to value me and feel I am doing a good job, despite my having several ‘crisis of confidence’ along the way.

All that I have been through in life has made me the person I am today. Even the negative experiences – such as abusive ex-husband – have paved the way for a major change for good that I wouldn’t have done without that experience. Leaving that environment and moving to Christchurch to do my degree wouldn’t have happened if not for that abusive relationship, giving me the strength and courage I needed. If I hadn’t moved here I would not have met my wonderful husband, who continues to support me every day in every way.

My life has been shaped by all the experiences I have had. Even the difficult times have helped me grow as a person. Those experiences have made me a stronger, more resilient person.

When it comes to Parkinson’s, this is the biggest challenge of my life. Unlike an abusive marriage or almost all of my other challenges, I cannot decide to walk away from Parkies, I cannot forge a different path and leave it behind. Where I go, Parkies goes and that is just what I have to accept. In accepting that Parkies is inescapable, I am not accepting that I am completely powerless because of it. I will continue to challenge this uninvited interloper in my life.

Now that I am retiring, I have the opportunity to focus on my health and well-being. To do things to hopefully slow the progression down. I will need all my strength and courage to fight the daily battle that is forced upon me and which I cannot ultimately escape.

So, my worklife ends today and I have accepted that. I am looking forward to taking more control of my life and engaging in exercise targeted to Parkies. In getting into volunteering and playing bowls and Quiz nights, I will start to build a support network, while having fun at the same time.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I intend to grab it with both hands and live life to the full.

An exciting new beginning starts today!