I was walking along with my husband during the weekend one day and a woman was coming towards us. I hadn’t been paying much attention to her, when as she approached us, she said, ‘Such a grumpy face for such a lovely day. Cheer up!’
As I said to my husband, ‘maybe it’s just the Parkies lack of expression?’ It has brought home to me how people can get the wrong impression of us and we may be completely oblivious to it. I don’t think I have the Parkinson’s expressionless mask, but perhaps maybe a wee bit?
The thing is there are many times when we could look at someone and think they were grumpy. Like I have said at work before my knee operation, I often had my pain face on because of my knee. The thing is a pain face is very similar to a grumpy face. As I commented, ‘people probably think I am the grumpiest Social Worker they’ve ever seen’. Another version of grumpy face assumption is when I am thinking, especially when I am trying to figure out what to do in relation to a tricky situation. So, my thinking face is very similar to a grumpy face.
Then there is the sad/grumpy face. If you have just received bad news, or you are just trying to get through a grieving period, you would hardly have a huge smile pasted on your face. You would be likely to spend quite a lot of the time with what may be taken as a grumpy face.
I’ve always found it useful to try to find out how a person is feeling themselves, rather than deciding for myself they might be displaying grumpiness. I would perhaps say something like, ‘you’re looking a little out of sorts’ or ‘you look a little grumpy’ or whatever language they might use. If the situation is right, I might even say, ‘you look a bit pissed off!’ if we have the kind of connection that it is OK to use that sort of expression. Even if a person is kind of grumpy, I have found that if you give them the opportunity to respond whether they are grumpy or not, then the person’s mood – if they are grumpy – can improve simply by my acknowledging them.
So, if you see me with what looks like a grumpy face, ask me. I may just be thinking, but even if I am a little grumpy, it might help me to snap out of it if you care enough to ask.
As I have often said that patients going through a significant health event have a right to be grumpy every now and again. It’s not like they’ve just stubbed their toe, they have stuff going on.
Those of us Parkies people definitely have a right to have a grumpy day. A sad day. An off day where we can’t be bothered with anything and anyone.
Life is not always a positive thing.
Life can be challenging.
Life can be hard.
Life can make you grumpy!
My journey with Parkinsons 