I was talking to someone early one morning about how, at our age – 60’s and 70’s – we talk a lot about our pain issues, things that are happening to our bodies, the changes in what we are able to do. Then, I had this memory come back to me of a post that I wrote near the beginning of my journey and writing my blog. I think it is worth repeating at least in part.
Our bodies have helped us do wonderful things over the years. For me, the most wonderful thing was that it carried three beautiful people for nine months each. I still marvel, when I look at my adult children – who are now parents themselves – that I and this body of mine, made three people. A marvellous, miraculous privilege to grow and nurture them within this body of mine.
This body nourished those children, these arms wrapped around them when they were scared or sad, whether they were small children or adults. Whatever age they are they will always be my babies and will always be in my heart no matter what.
This body has sent a piece of it, an essence of who I am out into the world in my three children and in turn to their children, my wonderful glorious, crazy and much loved grandchildren.
My children grew and my body and I carried on through life, making mistakes, making choices that weren’t always the right ones, but those choices led me to where I am today. Without some of the negative experiences I would not have this happy life today. I would not have this man who has loved me through all the changes in my life, through changes to my body through ageing and health issues, he continues to love me.
This body has taken me up mountains with my husband, it has walked through snow, it has walked in the heat of a summers day. It has carried me along riverbanks and country lanes making memories with my husband.
This body has worked in our garden to make a haven created by love and hard work. It has baked and cooked gifts of love for those I care about. It has helped me in so many ways to experience so many things and to create memories that last a lifetime.
Here is the parts of that original post that I thought were worth another look.
- This body is ageing now, it is wracked with pain from arthritis and my new friend Parkies (now not so new, three years down the track) and both make me tired and cause me pain. So, I wonder if I could try to think differently about my body and remember all that it has done for me? If I had a friend who was suffering pain and feeling vulnerable, would I criticise them or would I support them? If they were doing their best, but they sometimes lacked the strength to do things for me would I be cross with them?
- This body. This 62-year-old body (now 65 years old) has done it’s best over the years. It has got me through wonderful times and difficult times. Perhaps, if I remember how it has done so much for me, like a good and close old friend I need to recognise it’s contribution. It is the only body I will ever have and like a vintage car – which is valued for it’s age and character – it should be valued.
- Like a vintage car, it may need a spare part or two – like maybe a few finger joints and the odd knee – but that doesn’t make it any less valuable.
- I am a woman – and whatever age I am – my body is amazing and deserving of my love, not my criticism.
- I will try to remember that.
Now today, when I am with my friends that I go to the pool with, or play games of Rummikub with, or play bowls with, we all have similar stories. We have aches and pains, we have had operations or are waiting for operations. Our bodies are far from perfect.
Yes, our bodies are far from perfect, but pain or no pain, they still carry us through. The years that have passed since the original post about honouring my body, have seen me have two major operations. I have learned not to look back too far and yearn to do things in my younger years, but to celebrate what I can do.
So, here we go body, here’s to you!
- Instead of thinking how my body may have let me down, I choose to try and focus on what this body has been able to push through and still achieve.
- Yes, I have many areas of pain in my body, but my body won’t let me give in, as long as my brain drives me to continue. I won’t give in, I will push through the pain and when it becomes difficult I will get the support I need to carry on.
- My brain allows me to play a game (Rummikub) that makes me think, that keeps my brain active and challenges me. It has given me new friends, who care and support me and will in the future.
- My body takes me to the pool and one way or another, I exercise by either swimming or aqua jogging. It has taken me there before major operations as I got ready for them and helped me to recover from them. It has given me friends I would never have met who I treasure.
- My body takes me to bowls, where despite the pain and discomfort – with the assistance of pain relief – I get to play a game I have always loved. When I stand, bowl in hand, I don’t focus on the pain, as my body and brain concentrate on the task at hand. It takes me away from focussing on the pain and celebrating how my brain and my body instinctively tell me how to bowl. It has given me even more friends who build me up and celebrate my achievements.
I know this life with Parkinson’s is a challenging one for us all. Don’t think because I choose to focus on the positive that I don’t have some challenges too! I know that it is sometimes difficult to love ourselves and our bodies when the road gets rough. But, I choose to be grateful for the things that I can do and that I can get through the days thanks to what I often referred to as “sheer bloodymindedness”. I often used to say to patients I worked with that “Sheer bloodymindedness” will get you through. Remembering other times that were difficult and now refusing to give in, by being determined that the down days don’t need to outnumber the good ones. By celebrating achievements, no matter how small and having realistic expectations, so that I am more likely to achieve than aiming for lofty heights I cannot realistically reach.
Love your body – if you can – for all it has done for you and all the precious moments you have had.
