The saying “Pride goes before a fall” is such a negative outlook on life as far as I am concerned. Giving it this sort of negative attention baffles me.
How many times in my life have I felt pride? Pride for something I have done? Something my children have done or my husband? or any of my family. There have been many times that I have felt proud of myself and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. One of the biggest things I ever did was to go to University at around 40 years of age, whilst being on what was called a “Domestic Purposes Benefit” or DPB for short. I remember sitting down with my children and telling them we were moving to Christchurch so that I could study for a degree in Social Work. I told them that we were going to be on a benefit, but that it was a means to an end, not a lifestyle choice. I managed to do a four year degree in three and a half years, doing first and second year classes in the first year to get ahead. I wanted to push myself hard, so that I could get finished earlier and so I did.
The day of my graduation, I felt a huge sense of pride as I donned my cap and gown and received my degree with my husband, my mum, my children and one of my brothers and my sister-in-law there to share in that moment. Was I wrong to feel that pride? Was I being big-headed? I don’t think so. I think when any of us has achieved something – sometimes against the odds – we can be justly proud. It is not just a piece of paper you receive on the day you graduate it is the key to a more positive future and so it was for me.
I have been proud of the way my husband, my son and daughter and I managed to get through the death of my oldest son Adam. One of the hardest things in all our lives to bear. I was proud of Adam when he was with us and I hope that I told him so enough. I am proud of my children and the caring, wonderful and loving people they have become. I am proud of how they parent their children, instilling in them strong values and ethics and kindness.
I was in my kitchen cooking the other day and my husband came in and just out of the blue – I am not sure what inspired it, but I’ll take it – told me how proud of me he was. So unexpected but such a nice thing to hear. He said he was proud of how I handle all that life throws at me – and let me tell you that’s a lot – and how I keep on keeping on and trying. It meant a lot to me to hear him say that and to know that he meant every word. I admit that most of the time I am proud of myself for how I cope with not just Parkinson’s but a number of other health issues, that usually impinge on my life much more than Parkies does at the moment. I am proud that for the most part I remain positive and engaged in life. I purposefully have made myself be involved in various activities where I have started building a social network. This is important to me as I don’t want to walk through the rest of my life alone and neither do I want that for my husband.
There are other things that I have done that I am proud of, but I don’t want this to turn into a personal pat on the back as I list them all.
The most important thing about this post is that I want to illustrate and emphasise that despite “Pride goes before a fall” being the saying, I feel that we are justified in feeling proud. With everything that is going on in all our lives, if we keep trying and keep positive, at least most of the time, then we can be proud of everything we achieve.
Just because we have Parkinson’s, does not mean we cannot live a rich and fulfilling life and one to look back on with pleasure and pride. For me, it is important that those that I love are proud of me and hopefully one day my grandchildren might speak of me to their children with pride. That I can be an example for them of someone who has not had an easy life by any means, but that for the main part I toughed my way through and didn’t let it keep me down. I will continue the fight for as long as I can.
I don’t believe pride comes before a fall.
Pride lifts us up to want to be worthy of the pride of those who we love.
Pride can motivate us to want to be a better person in whatever role or situation we find ourselves in.
So…
I am loud…
I am proud….
I want to stand out from the crowd…
Pride will not make me fall, it will make me more determined to rise above the negativity that could keep me down.
Here’s a wee bit more in my podcast
https://open.spotify.com/episode/43aiUsAcBgAYmlJgDFAwui?si=-E3f6dGDRau4rdKcLPYuzQ
My journey with Parkinsons 