Sitting here this morning, up early because I couldn’t sleep. Scrolling through Facebook and came upon a mash up of dance clips of John Travolta from the 70’s. Born in 1961, my teenage years were very much in the 70’s and I remember watching the movies starring John Travolta. He was quite a dancer! I remember going out and about in my teens, getting into bars when I was 16. I remember one night, it was election night and I was in a bar dancing with my friends. Someone said to me “Who did you vote for?” My response? “No-one, I’m not old enough!” Foot firmly in mouth, because of course if I wasn’t old enough to vote, I wasn’t old enough to be in the pub. A hurried look around me and luckily none of the bouncers or bar staff seemed to have noticed. Phew! That was a close one.
I left home when I was 16 while my Mum and Dad were on a trip to the UK to see my Dad’s family. A trip that had waited till their 25th wedding anniversary (I think) before they were able to go. I flatted with my brother at home and we both had a friend come live in Mum and Dad’s home to help pay the mortgage. I didn’t want to be under the watchful eye of my parents when they returned, so my friend and I went flatting together. At 16! The first my parents knew about it was when they came home and I wasn’t there and I had taken my furniture too!
I open with these two stories, because I think they are good illustrations that at 16 years of age, all I wanted was to grow up, to be independent and to be able to make my own decisions. I had a full-time job in a typing pool. Not glamorous, but it paid the bills. My friend and I rented a flat together and recently I thought “Hmmm, could two 16 year olds legally sign a tenancy agreement?” Not something I thought about at the time and it was relatively recently that the thought occurred to me.
At 16, I became responsible for my own life. I had a job. A flat. My own money and could make my own decisions. I met my children’s father when I was about 18 or 19 and had my first child when I was 20. I did everything early, it seems. In a hurry to be a Mum, to be treated as an adult and to make my own decisions.
A lot of water has gone under a number of bridges. I have been married three times and finally found my forever love in my husband.
Now, at age 65 I find myself in a reflective mood. Watching the video of John Travolta dancing at a disco, brought back memories of parties and discos with my friends. Loud music playing, dancing, drinking and having a great time at the time. Now my husband and I would no sooner go to a noisy party – where we couldn’t talk or be heard if we did – than fly to the moon.
I think of the shoes I used to wear. High, high heels that I look back on and wonder how I ever walked in them. I even used to walk up steep hills, pushing my son in his pram in my heels. I can’t imagine doing it these days.
The heels have all gone from my wardrobe. My main shoes now are Skechers Slip-ins, not even the slightest sexy! Just comfortable, easy to put on and wear. I have traded sexy knickers for granny pants. Tight denim jeans that you had to sometimes use a coathanger to get on have been traded for comfy pants that give me room to move and breathe. I have gone from wearing makeup every day to work to wearing a bit of makeup when I go out or if I feel like it. Most of the time I don’t feel like it. I have gone from one of my relationships where I wore makeup and much sexier clothing to a man who adores me and tells me every day that I don’t need makeup because I am beautiful already.
I don’t work any more, I’ve been retired two years this year. But, I have lots of activities and friends to share them with. I do games that stimulate my brain and try to keep myself as active as I can with my various maladies. I can’t let pain weigh me down or Parkinson’s take over my life.
When I look back at the younger me, sure I had fun then, but relationships in those early teenage years were shallow and all about fun. No responsibility at first when I left home, but early to start a family.
If I sit back and analyse this life of mine now, give me this moment in time any day. I am older, but for the most part I am content. I wouldn’t swap my gentle relationship that has stood the test of time and lots of adversity for anything. I am happy to swap the disco for a dinner out with my husband. Swapping yelling to be heard in a crowded noisy bar, for a cosy dinner with the man I love, where we can sit and chat and enjoy being just us two. Swapping high heels for shoes that support me so that I can go for walks with my husband or by myself, I’m OK with that too. Wearing comfortable clothes and not feeling I have to dress up if I don’t feel like it. Wearing makeup when or if I wish to, not because all my friends do and it seems to be expected when you’re a teenager.
When did I get to be old? My husband says we are not there yet. But, the various maladies I have point to an ageing body, that needs more support than it used to. Ears that don’t need loud parties where I have to yell to be heard. Friends who are in their 70’s and therefore not that far away in age.
Listening to a conversation I shared with three friends, we don’t talk about the latest music or trends so much at our age. Aches, pains and medical conditions and what medications we are on seem to be the topic of conversation very often. That said, we might wince at a wee tweak when we get up or sit down and our backs might remind us they are not good at sitting for too long. But we don’t dwell on it. We get on and enjoy each other’s company.
Getting older, even with Parkinson’s comes with the realisation that these years – to me – are the most important ones. The ones where we know we don’t have another 60+ years ahead of us, so we need to make them count. The rainy day is here “Hello, Mr Parkinson” and the time to do everything you can, to do the things that matter is here. Don’t put things off, if you can avoid it. Don’t say that you will do things next year. Do what you can now, because these years seem to be flying by. Do the Bucket List stuff before you kick the bucket.
Live, Laugh and Live.
For none of us are promised tomorrow.
So, make the most of the time you have!
My journey with Parkinsons 