Today I started to think about how my life has changed over the years. How the way I live my life now is so very different to my previous lives. When I say that things move in cycles, this is what I was thinking today.
When I first moved to Christchurch, I was a sole parent with three children to support. I was on a benefit which helped me to be able to undergo my studies to become a Social Worker. I was determined to give myself and my children a better life. In fact, I was so determined that I completed a Social Work degree in 3.5 years instead of 4 years, working on both 1st year and 2nd year papers at the same time. During this time, I was on a low income and there weren’t any luxuries to go around. If I dyed my hair, it was a cheap packet dye from the supermarket. I went to a hairdressing school for free haircuts. If I bought clothes at all they were second hand from an Op Shop. From time to time I had to go to a food bank to get food to feed myself and my children. I also got some food packages from an organisation called 0800 hungry. For a $2 coin, I would have a food parcel dropped off at my home. All these things I needed to do, to keep myself and my children fed and to have the necessities of life.
Fast forward to the end of 2004. I finally graduated as a Social Worker and started my first Social Work job in 2005. I vowed to myself that as soon as I had a job that I would treat myself to a number of things. Things like going to a good hairdresser – the one I chose even gave you a glass of wine – no more packet hair dye for me! I also vowed that I would no longer go to secondhand clothing shops and would have the money to buy new. That held true for all of my career. I love nice clothes and I had a wardrobe full of lovely work clothes in particular. My husband and I could afford groceries when we needed them and I was able to help out my kids from time to time. Not that we had necessarily high paying jobs, but jobs that were steady, reliable and we could afford most things we needed.
Fast forward to last year when I retired and to today. We don’t have as much income now, as I used to have a reasonable wage and I went from that to no income. Now, I have reverted back to Op Shopping and I am trying hard not to spend too much money. It is a hard habit to break! I blame the pills! The Neurologist did say they could cause things like shopping addictions. Heck, I already had one of those! I certainly don’t go and buy in boutiques. Far from it! I am actually quite enjoying going Op Shopping these days though, especially if I get to go with my cousin or my elderly uncle, or my granddaughters.
The difference in this latest cycle is that when I was on a benefit bringing up my children, I had very little of value in my home. I lived from week to week and then sometimes barely made it through to my bank account being topped up! I have very little that I need to buy. I probably have every gadget known to mankind in my kitchen! I do like a good gadget and that extends to my leaf blower/sucker, my paint sprayer and my waterblaster! All good, fun toys!
The other difference is that despite my Parkinson’s I am happy! Far happier than I ever was when I was living on my own. I am happy, not because of money or possessions, but happy because I have the love of a good man, children and grandchildren who love me and other family members who love me too. I am surrounded by love and I feel loved and valued. I made a conscious decision when I was diagnosed to spend more time with those I love and I do my best to not go without seeing any of them for too long.
Parkinson’s to me means that I try not to waste any opportunities to be with my kids and grandkids. I am trying to make memories with those I love and I try to treat all of them from time to time. Even if it is just some home baking! I heard somewhere about this stage of life as having ‘more life lived than years left’ as opposed to ‘more years left than life lived’.
When you think about that, life is too precious to:
- Be in a job that doesn’t make you happy.
- To do things that cause you stress if you can avoid them.
- Busy yourself with unimportant things when you could spend time doing things that bring you joy.
- Miss out on spending time with those you love.
- Put off retirement for too long. The world is full of people who said ‘When I retire I will….’ and they never get to the …
- Be with someone who doesn’t make you happy!
- To be a person who does everything for everyone else and doesn’t look after their own needs.
- To look too far ahead at what Parkinson’s MIGHT do to you in the future and miss the good things you can enjoy in the here and now!
So, things go in cycles, but whether you are in a cycle where your income is good or whether you are in a cycle where it is not, that is not what I try to focus on. I may not have any income as such at the moment, but I have the most precious thing of all and that is time. My husband and I have lots of time to spend together. We have time to do the things we both want to do, both together and separately. The best thing I ever did was to stop working early like I did. I would not miss the opportunities that retirement has given me for anything in the world. I have the freedom to do what I want pretty much when I want. As long as I have realistic things I want to do!
Life is pretty good right now and particularly as my back is recovering well, then there are certainly more positives in my life than negatives.
I always try my best to look for the silver lining.
Because there is always something – even if a very small something – that we can find that is good in our lives!
My journey with Parkinsons 