I don’t know why in particular this week has been a week of clearing things out of my life that I no longer need. I have cleared out a number of different things, starting with some small drawers in my chest of drawers. Next was bags of clothing I had sorted months ago meaning to take them to one of the local Opp Shops. Today I finally took them this afternoon. Then finally on to my study where I have cleared out and put up on Trademe a number of Social Work books. I have also thrown away things like ANZASW Code of Ethics Information and Professional Log information that I no longer need. The ANZASW is the professional body in New Zealand that represents Social Workers and requires certain obligations and standards of us, as does the Social Work Registration Board.
I am feeling good about clearing all this ‘stuff’ out, personal ‘stuff’ and work ‘stuff’ and the common thread running through it all is that I no longer feel I need to keep them. I am not answerable to any governing body any more dictating what I can and cannot do. I can write whatever I like in my blog with no fear of someone critiquing the content and examining it to see if it is acceptable in the eyes of a government body or employer. It is a great feeling to be able to do so. I can think and act for myself in a way that is how I personally think and feel, not with one eye on what would be expected of me as a Registered Social Worker. I am, finally, wholly free to be the new me – whatever me I want to be – without any expectations or requirements on my life and how I live it.
It feels wonderful and cathartic to totally reclaim my life. Not that I can completely ignore the advice, wishes and needs of my family and of course , the closest family member of all, my husband. I do of course consider any effect my actions may have on them, but by the same token they do not hold me to any particular way of living or a requirement to do as I am expected. Being a Registered Social Worker is a huge responsibility and in being one you are answerable for any and all actions you might take, because you could potentially harm those you are supposed to support. I no longer have to have that hanging over me.
Clearing out my wardrobe of clothes that I neither need nor fit has also been cathartic. There were quite a few clothes that I have taken and donated. Some I could have sold, but really, I don’t feel the need to do so and it would take up time and energy that I can use elsewhere. I used to wear lovely dresses to work and enjoyed dressing nicely for work. I have sent some of the dresses to the Opp Shops, some because they no longer fit and are unlikely to do so, others just because now that I am not working I have no need for a wardrobe full of office attire. I can wear nice clothes when it suits me, but I am basically pretty relaxed and like to wear more comfortable clothes and not fuss too much.
I no longer feel I have to have a professional persona.
I am no longer Sue the Social Worker.
I am just me, being the me I want to be.
And it feels great!
Here’s my podcast if you’d like to listen.
My journey with Parkinsons 