Don’t stay with a bad partner

I wrote this poem a few days ago. I have been supporting someone who has left an abusive relationship and it made me think of my own second marriage which was abusive. For those of us with Parkinson’s, we are vulnerable enough under normal circumstances, but certainly being with someone who is abusive, whether it be psychological, financial or physical abuse makes us incredibly at risk. Compared to others, particularly if your Parkinson’s is getting worse, you need a safe home in which to live and a safe person to share it with.

So, I wrote this poem as a way for me to process my own journey in getting past the abuse and now I have I have been blessed with a supportive and loving husband to share my life.

Don’t stay with a bad partner

Don’t stay with a bad partner, or put up with abuse
They often try to blame you, but there is no excuse

If someone that you live with, takes over your whole life
And takes away your freedom whether husband or your wife

If someone is your partner, but treats you like they own you
The warning signs are there, there’s something you can do

Don’t give a thought for people and what they all might think
For no-one knows behind closed doors, they teeter on the brink

On the brink of hurting you and causing you real harm
The secret hidden from the world, they always seek to charm

The charming person others know, they change within closed doors
The bruises in your mind and body, you can’t say what’s the cause

They watch you every moment, they check on what you do
and they control the friends you see and always watching you

You cannot live a life, without a single choice
They rob you of control, they rob you of your voice

I know it’s a big decision, to finally try to leave
Will those that know and love you, trust you and believe

The story that you tell them, is not the guy they know
The helpful, caring person, that’s really just for show

It’s hard to feel you’re so alone and no-one understands
Your life is one of lack of choice and all at his commands

And it is so much harder, with children in the mix
To plan to leave a marriage it’s not possible to fix

But your job is to protect your kids and give them a safe life
You cannot really do that, if you’re an abused wife

It’s such a scary thing, to head out of that door
To call time on a marriage, that’s not safe any more

For you will be much better to leave and be alone
You may be quite surprised how quickly you have grown

Grown to be the woman, that you were meant to be
Making a new life for you and your kids to be free

It can be quite hard to leave and there always is a cost
Financially it can be hard, so much you will have lost
But it’s worth more than money, to finally be free
To get back all you are to know ‘I can now be me’

With no-one round to tell you, what you must think and do
To break the chains that bound you and getting back to you

For all you ladies out there, who live with such a man
May you all find the courage, to come up with a plan

A plan to have your freedom, to do what’s right for you
With no-one to control you, your thoughts and what you do

So, make the move to leave and come up with a plan
You deserve much more than that abusive man

The time has come to say, that you have had enough
But it will not be easy, these times will be quite rough

But you will find out in the world, when you have made the choice
That you can do most anything, when you have found your voice

The voice that say’s “I will not let you do these things any longer”
At over time, you’ll realise you’ll soon be feeling stronger

You cannot let it happen that he thinks he is winning
Walk out that door, with head held high and have a new beginning

For you do not deserve the life that he has forced on you
Controlled by this one person, for all you think and do

No longer will you stay and be this battered lonely wife
Go out into the world without him and find a better life