I miss being me…

You might think that is a bit of a strange thing to say and it probably is.

The me that I miss, is the me that is independent and does her own thing. The me that spur of the moment, will jump in her car and go look at Op Shops or go look around a garden centre with the intention of just looking and ending up with something new for the garden.

The me that loves her outdoor gadgets like the waterblaster, the paint sprayer and the leaf blower/sucker. I bought all of these gadgets and I love using them. As I write this there are leaves taunting me everywhere I look. I am itching to get out there and deal to them. My husband is amazing doing everything inside and out of our home. He will be thinking something similar, I’m sure and I know he can’t wait till I am walking like a normal person again and not in constant pain. I am in a state of constant dependence, of needing to ask my husband to do so much for me at the moment and while he is mostly gracious in doing these things, I think he is well and truly ready for both of us to get out lives back.

This has been a trial run for when Parkies starts misbehaving.

Hopefully, that is many, many years away.

I will have my operation and regain, not only my mobility, but my independence and so will my husband. We work so well as a couple because we don’t need to spend every waking moment of every day together. Because we both like to do our own thing and we support each other to do so.

I feel I am always thinking that I have to defend Parkies against the false impression that they are responsible for my mobility issues. Far from it, Parkies has been very well behaved. No Parkies issues at all at the moment. Any physical effects, vocal issues, fatigue all come from my back.

I hope to have my back surgery next month. Every finger is crossed that it will be so. I can’t go on for months like this. It would drive me crazy and as a consequence it will also drive my husband crazy too!

All I can say is, he really must love me or he wouldn’t put up with the ridiculous amount of health issues I have had over the years. A lesser mortal would have headed for the hills long ago.

Counting my blessings.

The biggest one is the love and care I get from my husband.

I couldn’t get through this without him!