Life at the moment is as ever complicated. I am trying to keep up with my blog, try to work out how to record, edit and get a podcast finished and cope with health issues. Life is full of ‘stuff’ that I am trying to do and I find that there is not much that I actually can achieve without assistance. This is very frustrating for both my husband and myself. The poor man is cooking, cleaning, gardening and all manner of tasks both big and small that I would have been pitching in to do. At the moment, though, my GP basically just wants me to take the pain meds and the Parkies meds and not do anything. My computer is the only place I seem to achieve anything at all and even that is sketchy.
I fight a constant battle at the moment with pain. Trying as best I can to ignore the pain and just keep on doing. A thing that is very difficult to manage.
What’s with the “Absence makes the heart…” It’s about missing all the things that everyone takes for granted. An absence of ability to do even the simplest tasks because of the pain. I can stand unsupported for about two minutes and then the pain kicks in. It makes it very difficult to be able to do anything around our home. I know my husband doesn’t expect it, but I hate that I can’t do my bit.
I never thought that I would miss the simplest of things. I long to be able to get up off the couch and go and get a drink without thinking about it. To go to the toilet without the palaver of getting the walker organised. Going to the mailbox to check on the mail. Jumping in my car and going op shopping by myself on a whim. Going anywhere on a whim, just the ‘jumping in the car’ bit and driving would be heaven. I miss so many things that are small things, but at the moment such a big thing that I cannot even consider thinking about.
You know, this blog is basically originally supposed to be about my journey with Parkinson’s. It is somewhat ironic, that the biggest health issue of all, being PD that it is being so well behaved, I don’t think I have any symptoms that are noticeable at the moment. If I stuck ridgedly to only writing about PD at the moment, I wouldn’t have much to say. The thing is, most of us have other stuff in our lives that affect those lives and at times – like for me at the moment – Parkies is not doing anything much that’s worth trying to put into words.
It just proves that for any of us, PD is not the only thing many of us have in the way of health issues. It may be the biggest and scariest beast of a condition, but not the only one. None of us can be considered in isolation. There are other things impacting on our lives constantly. Some may be health related, some may be family matters or work matters. Some may be able to be fixed, some tolerated and some we just have to grit our teeth and bear it.
My issues with pain at the moment definitely are of the ‘grin and bear it’ type of thing. The pain is not going to go away till I have my operation. I just hope that it is the last operation I have to have. I don’t think my body really likes anesthetic anymore. Not that it ever did really! But I think Parkies make my body less able to bounce back with each surgery I have.
Let this surgery be the last…
Every finger and toe crossed…
Let it be so!
My journey with Parkinsons 