I have probably talked about this a bit previously in this Blog. As I have often said, I try not to think too much about the ‘end game’ or the future and what that might look like physically. Trying to remain in the present, in the ‘here and now’ isn’t always easy. There is though – at least I think so – benefits from taking a peek into the future and acknowledging it.
At the moment, I am needing a walker to get around. This is solely the result of doing something to my back, which has impacted on my legs and my ability to walk without pain. Currently, that is not possible, but I am assured by my Doctor, my husband and my physiotherapist, that this is a temporary blip. That I will recover and get back to walking unaided is something that they all seem to see as a surety. I’m not convinced as yet and can’t help but have the worry that this is my life now. A life dependent upon a piece of equipment to be able to carefully and painfully put one foot in front of the other. I will certainly continue to do my exercises and do my best to recover and have a life uncluttered by devices. So too, I will endeavour to have a more positive viewpoint and join those that advise me in being confident that I will recover.
This week my husband and I went to our Parkies support group. It was the first time I have been since I started using the walker and I did feel a bit self-conscious about it. I was quick to point out that Parkies was not the reason for the walker, but rather a temporary situation that will resolve. However, I did say that this gave me a window into the future when I was likely to need a walker.
When I mentioned that my current situation with the walker was a practice run for the future there was some sucking in of breath and a couple of my fellow Parkies saying, ‘no, no’. Not wanting to enter into a conversation that others were not comfortable with, I didn’t respond or expand further on my statement. The situation reminded me of a day quite a while ago when I saw an elderly person with a walker and thought ‘that will be me one day’ and then a few seconds later realising that most people who are blessed with a long life will in all likelihood need a walker or some aid to get around. Just because they are getting older, they don’t have to have been ‘blessed’ by our nuisance of a companion that is Parkies.
So, I am OK with having a peek into the window that leads to the future. My experience using a walker has given me an opportunity to test drive our home for accessibility. It has passed with flying colours. The ensuite, the separate toilet the hallway and all the bedrooms and all parts of the house are accessible with the walker. So too is the garden apart from being unable to climb up to the raised garden.
Also, we have been out and about and it is interesting how many places on the surface of it are accessible but in effect only partially so. For example, disability parking that has a curb next to the park so someone has to lift the walker for you to get up the curb. Disabled toilets that have a door that is quite heavy and opens outwards to be able to get into the toilet. Once inside, they are usually good and accessed by a sliding door, but you have to negotiate the heavy outer door to get in there in the first place.
I have peeked into the window to the future.
It has informed me and given me knowledge that will be useful for the future.
Now that I have peeked, I will return to the present and put away those thoughts.
Time to refocus on the present and to live in the now!
My journey with Parkinsons 