It is difficult sometimes to remain positive and to move forward in life with enthusiasm. I am in a place right now where I am struggling with so many unknowns in my life. The ironic thing is that my Parkinson’s is something that I am not too focussed on most of the time, apart from the fact that due to my knee I am unable to do much of anything much in the way of exercise. As most of us will know exercise is vitally important in the management and slowing down of progression.
In the past I have had situations that were difficult to cope with, which included an abusive marriage at one stage. I slipped into depression and really struggled with life. There were other events over the years that also sent me into a downward spiral of low mood and on to depression.
I have actually done well for years with no sign of depression even with significant personal loss and then my diagnosis of Parkinson’s. However, right now, I am finding that I am easily moved to tears and struggle constantly with pain while trying to carry on working. I am usually very together but can’t say that I am now. I am trying to do all I can to try to get an operation on my knee, which in time would mean my mobility should return. But so much is beyond my control – and I hate not having control and certainty – that it does adversely affect my mood.
Now, I will try to focus on the positives in my life, perhaps that will help!
- I have a wonderful, loving and supportive husband.
- I have six beautiful grandchildren or as we call them the ‘grandboys’ and ‘grandgirls’
- I have two beautiful adult children who I am very proud of.
- I have beautiful memories of my oldest son. Despite the pain of loss, the memories can still make me smile.
- I have a good job and a supportive team.
- I have a cousin who is always there for me and who I count as a dear friend.
- I have a beautiful home and garden which I am working on – as the knee allows.
- I can still work.
- I can still drive.
- Parkies is behaving itself.
Another pity party today I’m afraid. Sometimes we just need to talk it out or cry it out. Currently, I am doing both.
Hopefully, one day soon I will have clarity regarding a fix for my knee. It can’t come soon enough for me!
My journey with Parkinsons 
It would be extremely weird if you WERE NOT feeling down, given what you’re going through. I would say that it’s a perfectly normal and reasonable reaction to constant pain and the limitations that brings.
🤞I’m genuinely hoping that the surgery will be prompt and liberate you so you can get on and enjoy your life as soon as possible. As Nanna Turner used to say “Brighter days ahead, my dear. Brighter days ahead.” And then she would make you a nice cup of tea. ☕️ ❤️
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Hi Rebecca. Thanks for the kind words. I guess it is better to accept that life is tough and that things are not going as well as we would like, rather than putting on a false front and pretending that all is sunshine and roses. Just putting my thoughts down in my Blog helps me to get over things quicker. Hopefully, the operation will not be too far in the distant future!
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