I know a lot of couples do everything together and that works for them. However, we are not so much like that in our relationship. This is largely due to my husband never having lived with a woman before – talk about trial by fire – but bravely chose to live with me. He still needs to be able to pursue his individual interests. For myself, having come from an abusive relationship, where every moment of my life was controlled I needed to be able to be free to make friends and to have parts of my life that were just mine. So, we have a good understanding of each other’s needs but also ensure that we spend quality time together. It is all about having a healthy balance.
At the moment we are in Kaikoura and my husband has just gone off to do the Peninsula walk on his own. Previously, I would have gone with him, but since my knee operation followed by my back operation, I am not up to doing the walk. At least not at present. So I hit upon a plan.
The plan was for me to go and play bowls, while he had his walk. We then both have a lovely day doing what we enjoy. My husband does not have to consider if I can make it up a hill, or whether the track might be too uneven for me, or any of the multitude of things that need to be considered if I am with him. He can freely go and do things he knows he is capable of and doesn’t have to be concerned about me.
I love my bowls, so I have contacted the local club and I am off to play bowls for the afternoon. We will both have an enjoyable day and when we come together later this afternoon, we will have something to talk about.
We really do have a winning formula for our marriage when it comes to balancing time together, with time we want to spend following our own interests.
Some further thoughts on how and why we do things the way we do, click below to listen to my podcast.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0w7TkQvnC5tIhdGec6grXs?si=ZcMnOl2hRmCT7DEiq5zzdA
My journey with Parkinsons 