Presents vs Presence

So another year is over and a new year begins. Christmas is the season where we gather together with friends and loved ones, if we are lucky enough to have them, and often gifts are exchanged. Receiving a present is always fun, but sometimes we would wish for more of those we love to be present with us and that can mean much more than a store bought gift.

I know for myself, once diagnosed I realised how much my family meant to me and I made a conscious decision to be more present with all my family. To take opportunities to be with those we love and to leave them with gifts – but not any sort of gift you can buy – the gift of our presence in their lives. I can honestly say, that having my diagnosis instantly made me realise how much spending time with my family was important to me. To think back on my own childhood memories and realise that I cannot recall a single material gift that I was given, but the strongest and most cherished memories are those made with my Nanna when I was a child and she would come to visit. Being present with my family and making a conscious effort to be with them has become increasingly important.

I want to create happy and fun memories with my family, especially with my children and grandchildren. As you can see below, the pictures were taken when I took my three grand-daughters to a local supermarket to buy some snacks. Unknown to them, I had in my handbag some stick on ‘googly eyes’. I said to the children that we would have a competition to see who could make the best use of them. The twins were one team and I had the second team with their younger sister. We were to find things to put the eyes on and take photos and then show them to each other. The only rule was that it not deface anything that the store might then insist we buy, things like greetings cards or magazines. Things like fruit – as seen below – of packaging on nappies also below, were good harmless targets for our fun.

The girls and I had a ball and I think it was a success because they did not know anything about it and just having some silly fun with their Nanna was the best. I am sure they will remember that day forever, we were laughing and chatting all round the shop and it put a smile on our faces imagining people buying a banana or tamarillo with little eyes on!

No money was spent on this activity – although I had purchased the eyes – but it was a fun way to be present with my girls and I am sure they will always remember our silly supermarket game.

I know my memories of my Nanna are of her visits to us and fossicking on the beach with her in the rock pools. I can’t remember any gifts I received over the years, but it is personal memories of time spent with my Nanna that I will never forget.

So, rather than going overboard with presents that will soon be forgotten, how about giving your ‘presence’ and really spend time with those you love doing things with them and making memories.

If you haven’t had a listen to my podcast, here’s a link with some more thoughts on ‘Presents vs Presence’ that you might enjoy. It might even give you some ideas of spending quality time with those you love.