While at dinner last night and following the interesting talk we had attended, my husband and I chatted over dinner. I wanted to share with him some of my thoughts on independence vs reality.
Anyone that knows me, knows that I am quite fiercely independent. I don’t like asking for help and usually try all manner of things before I do. Because of this, it has been quite an adjustment to have to ask for help.
The thing is this. I know that at some point – not sure how far away – I may not have the insight to know when I should or shouldn’t get on a step ladder, or get up on the raised garden. I have, however, noticed that when I have done these things, that I am a bit anxious doing so, which would never have happened before. I wanted him to know that I have chosen to take on board the concerns of others such as my husband and my GP, and not engage in risky behaviours ie. anything above ground level!
The reason I wanted to talk to my husband about it, was to let him know that he doesn’t need to worry that I will do something ‘unwise’ while he is not home. My husband likes to go for long walks 3-4 hours and it is something he needs to do for his health and wellbeing. Keep him cooped up in the house – much as we love it – and he goes stir crazy if he doesn’t get some fresh air and exercise. I want him to be able to go for a walk and not be fearful that I will do something risky and potentially hurt myself. We both know that at some point I won’t be safe to leave alone, but even when that happens we will find a way for him to continue to have his long walks.
So, I have to adjust to the fact that there are things other people are not happy with me doing. I am not always going to agree with them as to the element of risk that might be involved, but I also don’t want to be any more of a worry than I need to be.
My journey with Parkinsons 