This weekend I have had my three lovely grand-daughters to stay over. The twins (15) had planned a sleepover with a friend for Saturday, so only stayed one night – with teenagers you take what you can get – and the youngest (10) stayed an extra night with Nanna and Grampy as the teenagers doing their teenage thing, would probably mean that she felt left out. We had a lovely time together and I have been reflecting on a conversation I had with the youngest last night.
Sitting in the spa pool, seems to bring out all sorts of conversations from funny stories to serious discussions about life and everything in between. We started talking about family and how my grandchildren are lucky to have three sets of grandparents who all adore them. First, there is of course myself and my husband – we are known as Nanna and Grampy. Then their Mum’s Father (my ex) – Pop-pop and his partner who has been christened ‘Hanny’ (honorary Nanny). Then there is their Father’s Mum and Dad – Nanna and Grandad. If both Nanna’s are present, we get ‘Nanna Sue’ and ‘Nanna Debbie’ to avoid confusion.
We got onto the subject of the memories and things they like to do with each set of grandparents. Not out of any sense of rivalry I hasten to add. But, I thought it would be interesting to see what our grand-daughter said. She talked about Nanna (Debbie) and Grandad and said that they usually went out and did things, such as ice skating and movies. She has also on many occasions – as have her sisters – talked about the yummy meals their other Nanna cooks. Talking about myself and my husband, the main thing she brought up was baking with Nanna and how much she enjoyed that. Also, soaking in the spa with Nanna and having a chat. We also like to do simple things like picnics and animal parks. For Hanny and Pop-pop she does not see a lot of them as they live in the North Island, but she said that one thing she really likes is that Hanny gives them massive hugs when she sees them. I’m sure there are many things they like doing with them, but the hugs were the thing that lit up her face!
Then we got onto the subject of blood relatives and grandparents who came to be in that role through myself and my ex getting new partners. I asked her about step grandparents and she said that she would be very disappointed if anyone were to refer to themselves in that way. To her, her grandparents whether by virtue of birth or marrying into their family were no different. It is loving them and being with them and supporting them that makes them grandparents and all of us – according to her – are loved just the same. It was lovely to hear that from her.
We did some baking this weekend, which is becoming a bit of a tradition. One of the girls took a photo of a recipe on her phone, so she could make it at home. I thought that was a real compliment. All three love baking with their Nanna and we build new memories and make new tasty treats every time.
I talked about a couple of my own memories, of my Nanna (Mum’s Mum) coming to stay with us in Rotorua. We would sometimes go for a drive to Mt Maunganui or some other beach and rent a holiday home. Mum always said that she would look where ‘Susan’ (Sue) and ‘Nanna’ were when we were at the beach and she always knew that if there were rockpools that we would be seen ‘head down, bum up’ searching in the pools for crabs and other critters. I clearly remember the joy of spending that time with my Nanna. We also used to go fishing and I recall my three brothers and I gathering round while Nanna gutted and filleted the fish we had caught. One thing that stands out for me, is that none of the things I have fond memories of doing really cost much in the way of money. We agreed that the best thing a grandparent could spend on their grandchildren was their time.
As their Nanna, I want to build fun and happy memories with my grandchildren. By talking about the things we have enjoyed doing together, I hope that I make those memories ‘stick’. By doing so, perhaps in the future if my memory cannot bring forth those stories and events, my grandchildren can tell me about our adventures together.
Now that I am retired, there may be more time for more memory making with them all. That is one of the things I hope to do, amongst volunteering, exercising and bowls, there has to be time for the girls and for the boys in Wellington too.
I hope that each child knows how much they are loved and we can continue to forge a loving bond that will sustain us in the years ahead, especially when things get a little tough.
The best medicine of all, I feel is the presence of those we love. If we are surrounded by that love we can face anything the future may bring.
My journey with Parkinsons 