They say laughter is the best medicine and in many ways that is true. As it is often said,’If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry!’ But sometimes the laughter is to cover up real pain. Pain that we may not know what to do with and so we cover that pain with a smile and a joke.
I remember many, many years ago in a previous life I was working with a support group. It was a mixed group of men and women and they met each week, for mutual support. One particular woman was always bright and breezy and always with a smile on her face. I used to say she was very ‘Polyanna’. I used the term because in the programme she was in, she was always very optimistic, probably too much so. One of the participants said to me one day ‘I wish I could manage as well as she does, she is always so positive!’ In return, I said to him, ‘You can’t tell what is going on for a person and sometimes people joke more when they are covering up how they really feel. Sometimes they won’t even admit they are struggling to themselves’.
I have seen this happen many times through the years, where people cover up how they are feeling by joking around and always with a smile on their face. These are the ones you see regularly because it takes a while for the real person dealing with real issues comes out.
Laughter can be the best medicine, but sometimes you reach a point where you can’t joke your way out anymore. I know myself that I definitely use humour as a defense mechanism. That I joke around more if I am under stress.
I would say that normally I joke with my workmates and usually have a smile on my face. Because of that I notice that if you are someone they are accustomed to seeing with a smile, that workmates don’t seem to cope if you don’t. Everyone has the right to their feelings. But I have found at times that if I am a bit short with people because I am busy, or maybe I’m frowning because I am trying to figure something out people often don’t cope. All of us have the right to a bad day or even a grumpy moment or two.
Humour is something you very much need when you are working with people in a job like mine. But, the danger can be that those seeing the person laughing and joking can assume all is well because of it.
All of us probably have a mask we put on to hide how we feel, but eventually the mask has to slip to show our real feelings.
Only then, when we are being our true selves can we get the support that we need!
My journey with Parkinsons 