A wee bit OCD perhaps – being ‘particular’ about things?

As I have gone through life, I have become more and more a creature of habit. Certain things need to be done a certain way, or it is just not right and it is positively jarring.

One of the things that I find I can’t abide is the way a toilet roll is put on the holder. For me the ONLY way the toilet roll is acceptable to be placed is with the paper on the outside. Putting the roll on the holder so that the paper is running down the wall is just not right in my book! I went to visit my Aunt and Uncle today and used their facilities while I was there. I sat down and there it was on the holder THE WRONG WAY ROUND! Most people might be able to just go with the flow and leave it be. Not me! I just had to change the roll to the correct position with the paper running down the front. I went out to the lounge and told my Aunt that I had changed it. Her reply was that she would be changing it back when she was next in there. She did say though, that if at any stage she came home and the roll had been changed to my preferred option she would know that Sue had been there!

Next we started talking about other things that I can be a bit particular with. When I am at work for instance I have always parked in the same carpark, in the same spot. I have been parking in a disabled space more recently, but even then I park in the same space every day. I get quite put out if someone has got there first and pinched my park!

So too, I usually use the disabled toilet in the staff room. I do need the rail sometimes to get up, so I feel it is justified. Again, if someone is in my cubicle of choice it just doesn’t feel right.

In the ward that we work we have an office which is supposed to be ‘hot desking’ where you just sit wherever there is a spare space. Me being me, of course I can’t be dealing with that! I have laid claim to a space that has two screens and everyone I work with refers to it as ‘Sue’s desk’. No matter how much I try to reassure people that they can use it from time to time, more often than not it is there waiting for me when I need a computer.

All of this brings to mind what might need to be considered by anyone caring for someone with Parkinson’s when they progress, particularly if there appears to be an element of dementia involved.

If, like me, the PWP has set ways they like things to be this can be important to know for anyone involved in their care.

Things like:

• Do they have a certain routine at mealtimes to be aware of?
• Do you put the toilet roll on the right way round for them?
• Do they like their hair brushed or just blow dry and run their fingers through. The second option which, by the way is how I like it!
• Do they put their bra on round the front and then turn it round to the back? Or do they do it up behind them?
• Do they have a favourite mug that they use? A hot drink out of the wrong mug may be enough to upset their equilibrium.
• Do they like sauce poured over the food on their plate or do they prefer a puddle of sauce they can dip things in?
• Do they like their sandwiches cut corner to corner or straight? For the record, my husband is a straight cut person and I am a corner to corner. For me if anyone cut my sandwiches wrong, it could be enough to stop me eating it in the future!

Some of these things may sound silly and unimportant, but habits can become firmly entrenched. If a person lacks the ability to say what they prefer these things can come to really matter. As things progress the PWP will have less control and choice in their lives, so it is important that consideration is given to the way they would like things done. With limited ability to choose things in their lives this will give them at least some feeling of having choices.

For those who find themselves in the caring role, the little foibles we PWP’s have can become important to the person they seek to support. The family member who knows the person best can provide this information and help the PWP feel more comfortable. This is likely to be even more important if the PWP goes into residential care.

This has just brought to mind a situation I encountered many years ago. My friend’s wife had dementia and her husband still had her at home. He told me that she had been a model in her younger days and showed me some beautiful photos of her from that time. He then went on to tell me that she could not stand to have peas on her plate with a meal. When modelling she had been told to avoid peas as they would make her stomach bloated and not look good in photos. This was important to know, as he stated that if there were peas on her plate and if they touched any other food on her plate she would not eat her meal! Peas were therefore to be avoided at all costs! This is a good example of something that may seem relatively unimportant, but for this lady could become an issue if her meals arrived bearing peas on the plate.

We all are likely to have little rituals and ways of doing things that have become a habit over the years. Some we can let go of, others may become increasingly important, especially as the ability to make our own choices become adversely affected.

For me, I’m afraid the direction of the toilet roll will always be non-negotiable!