As each day goes by it seems that the pain in my life gets worse. The main culprit is my knee. I have written about this before on many occasions and it does occupy far too much of my consciousness for my liking.
The ironic thing is that my main ‘condition’ – Parkinson’s – is something that over the last two and a half years I have managed to absorb into my life. It is just a part of who and what I am. It is not my primary focus and for the most part I try to just enjoy everything that life has to offer and spend time doing things and creating memories with those I love. However, the fly in the ointment at the moment is my stupid and very painful knee. Each time I shift position when I am standing, I am assaulted by an incredible pain. I have graduated from a walking stick to a crutch now as the walking stick just wasn’t cutting it.
In my job I walk around a lot, so the current situation is becoming less tenable by the day. I have probably cried more in the last few days than I have in a long time. I got near to the end of the day yesterday and just couldn’t cope with being at work any longer and left half an hour early. The pain was getting to me to the extent that I just burst into tears. I walked out to my car and cried all the way home.
Today I was at work and again was in a lot of pain. I had supervision this afternoon and I told my supervisor what I was going through. Earlier in the day I had said – semi jokingly – I should find an office and sit in it and someone could bring my patients to me, to save me walking around and causing myself pain. So, I have decided I am going to talk to my boss next week and see if there is some way to modify how I work, so that I can continue to do so. Hopefully, we can find a way for me to continue without the pain that plagues my every step.
I think the thing that bothers me and concerns me the most is that I have no timeframe to know when I might be able to have an operation to fix the knee as I struggle on day after day. I need some way of finding out how long I will have to suffer this.
Parkies is behaving itself beautifully. Now if Arthritis would just follow suit and behave perhaps, I could get back to looking forward to each day that comes along. Right now, as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, swing my legs over the side of the bed and stand up, I am assailed by pain that doesn’t stop from morning till night. I’m over it!
Hopefully, sometime soon, someone somewhere somehow will tell me what the plan is for my knee.
My journey with Parkinsons 
Sending you a hug and a big bucket of understanding.
I would seriously look at ways to self fund your operation.
You and so many others are having to live like this, waiting is so hard..xx
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Hi Robyn. Thanks for the hug and especially the understanding. Apparently I have made it onto the waitlist, which in itself is something to celebrate as some people don’t even make it that far. I will see what I can find out about what that means and then have a rethink if I have to. I am seeing my Rheumatologist on Wednesday next week, so hopefully he can give his expert opinion and maybe help it happen.
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