I notice many changes in the way I view life these days. Since Parkies has moved into my life it – and it’s effects – are not far from my thoughts. A Psychologist I work with said recently that my life should not be all about Parkinson’s. But, in a way it shapes my very being, even if not always top of mind.
I find one thing I am noticing is that I enjoy tasks with a degree of physicality about them. Working hard in the garden. Lifting bags of compost. Digging. Planting. All these things give me a sense of satisfaction and I am enjoying my capacity to do all these things. I have a wonderfully supportive husband who often offers to lift things, shift things and help me when he thinks things might be too much for me. While I appreciate the sentiment, my attitude these days is that I very much want to try to do all these tasks myself and in doing them I get a lot of satisfaction from being able to achieve them. That said, I also am wise enough to test the weight of something and then ask for help if I assess that this task is something I need assistance with. Take today as an example. We went out on our bikes for a ride. He was on his normal bike and I was on my e-bike. We came to a stile and the bikes had to be lifted over. E-bikes are bloody heavy!! I had the good sense to seek my husband’s help with me doing what I could to assist.
Now the legacy bit….
In settling into our new home, we have put a lot of work into the property. I was working today on a piece of garden that relied on my doing a lot of tough physical work. In my minds eye I can see that effort coming to fruition over the years. I imagine sitting at the table and chairs I have placed nearby and admiring my hydrangeas in bloom. As I look around the garden and as I work around the garden, my thoughts go to the future and I see the garden in maturity. A place of peace and tranquility that I have had a part in creating. This is my legacy for me. My work now will provide me with a home that will house me and support me in the future when maybe I am not as able. I am not alone in creating this legacy. I couldn’t do what I do if not for my husband supporting me to do what I can and in doing things for me that I can’t.
I can’t control my future life with Parkinson’s and what that might look like, but I can have the opportunity to be part of creating an environment where my efforts now will provide a beautiful place in which to live it.
That is my legacy for me and for the man I love.