Is this a dream? Or is it reality?

It may seem strange, but sometimes this whole Parkies thing has an unreal quality about it. I go about my daily life – and probably due to medications – I feel, for want of a better word ‘normal’.

I can still walk really well and with my daily exercise routine my arm swing is pretty good. My tremors are for the most part under control and my thinking is mostly pretty good too. So, that’s why it sometimes feels like maybe this is not really happening to me. Wishful thinking no doubt!

The thing is, in the early stages of this condition symptoms can be mild and perhaps easy to dismiss. For many this is why seeking diagnosis is often delayed and also perhaps why GP’s are sometimes reluctant to refer. But, with me, I know it is the steps I take – quite literally – with exercise and medications that keep this at bay and under control.

Speaking of dreams…

I have never dreamt of my father before, who passed away many years ago with Parkinson’s. The other night, he came to me in a dream. He was dressed in a dressing gown – something I never remember him wearing – and he was visibility upset. He said, ‘I’m so sorry you have Parkinson’s. It’s all my fault! I would wish anything on you but this!’ I remember reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault and that I was OK. I woke up upset by this and really felt he had come to me in the night.

So, yes, I have Parkinson’s. My brain sometimes wants to deny it, but it is a fact. I am grateful that I am managing as well as I am and that I can still work and function pretty well for the most part.

So, Dad, I’m OK. It’s not your fault. Rest easy. Parkies and I have a long way to go in our journey yet.

Published by parklandssue

I work in health and have been with the same supportive team for over 7 years. They are all aware of my diagnosis and this helps tremendously especially while I get used to the idea of my diagnosis. My parents both had Parkinsons, so I guess my odds were higher than most.

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