Talking to my husband today, I said to him that I am so lucky to have him and his support and also the support of my new friends and of course my family. I don’t know how anyone copes with a huge diagnosis like this on their own. I only hope that those who don’t have a partner or family can find ways to get support and a social network.
I have discovered quite recently what it is like to have friends! That may seem like a strange thing for someone having achieved the age of 65 years, but I honestly have gone through most of my life without friends. I have had colleagues that I would sit and have lunch with when I was working, but very few who actually were open to spending time with me outside of work. Because my husband and I are so close, that hadn’t bothered me before. But, I knew that when I retired I would need to build a social network, as I would not have the opportunity to connect with other people the same when I retired.
Having these friendships has given me ladies who I can talk to and who support me, by wanting to spend time with me and giving me the knowledge that I have people in my corner when I need them. I have felt safe in sharing what has been happening for me in this journey of mine with Parkinson’s. When I tell people that I am in the relatively early stages of Parkinson’s it seems that most people have had a connection with someone in their lives who has this condition. Some much further on than I am and some whose friend is no longer here.
When I go to the pool 4-5 mornings a week to do my aqua jogging, I try to get there as early as possible so that I can do some lengths before my “floaty friends” – as I have christened them – come to the pool. In this way, I get to do some good lengths, striding out and giving myself a workout. I try to do at least 30 lengths each day I am there. Once I have achieved my target of 30 lengths, I then join my friends in the slow lane, where I can relax and chill and socialise in a much gentler way. I guess it is like a cool down period after a period of exercise. This gives me a balance of exercise that raises my respiration rate – and hopefully burns a few calories – and the social contact that I need.
I also have a friend I have met through my bowling club and we get to see each other when bowling and out of bowling playing Rummikub and hanging out together. We often spend time with each other 2-3 times a week.
I have met another couple of ladies at the Rummikub session at our local library and we are meeting tomorrow, for the first time outside of the library at my home. As Monday is a public holiday, instead of going to the library as usual we will play at my home. Time will tell if we continue to develop a friendship outside the library sessions we all enjoy.
To say I have never had so many friends is absolutely true. Some feel closer than others. Some I feel we are testing the waters of friendship and the signs are good. It is good to have these women friends at my stage of life as we can identify with each other and are able to talk about personal things that ladies of similar ages experience. I find myself at age 65 to be the youngest of the group, with my friends being in the early to mid 70’s. There is a wealth of life experience to draw from and it feels safe to talk about thoughts, feelings and perhaps sometimes fears with these ladies.
Yes, everybody needs good friends.
I finally feel that I have them!
