We have just come back from Wellington visiting my son, daughter-in-law and their three lovely boys. It was so nice to spend time with them, but my goodness, have they all grown up!
They are lovely boys, but as siblings do, there would be the odd little niggle between each other, but that is what happens. I know my brothers and I used to have fights from time to time and I felt they were particularly mean to me when we were all teenagers and they had friends come round. I was the archetypical annoying little sister. But they did have some rather cute friends!
Now here I am talking about my childhood, when I had intended to talk about my grandsons. It will all tie in somehow – yet to be seen – I’m sure. As each of the boys has got to 6 years of age, we have arranged with their parents for them fly down to see us unaccompanied. The two older boys have both had a turn now and they did wonderfully. They came off the plane happy and excited and ready for some quality time with us. My husband particularly was concerned when the first boy was coming to stay. He worried that they might get worried or upset and miss their Mum and Dad and siblings. Both boys were surprisingly relaxed at being away from them all. We had some fun outings, but equally we tried to do some fun activities with them at home.
Before each of the boys came to us for their special long weekend, we were both wondering how it might go. We only see the boys a 2-3 times a year at best as they don’t live in the same city as us. However, the ‘experiment’ was a runaway success. The boys were no trouble at all and we very much enjoyed having the opportunity to spend quality time with each grandson making memories for all of us. The second boy came to stay this year and again we were wondering what he might be like to look after as he is more of a ‘homebody’ I guess, but also maybe not as confident as his older brother. Again, there were no problems and we had a great time together.
At one point over the weekend, we were sitting around relaxing at home and the three boys decided to ride their bikes around the back yard. So, I decided that I would sit on the steps of the deck and watch them. As I generally don’t like to sit without having something to do with my hands I decided that I would make daisy chains. So, I found myself a comfy spot and got my grandsons to pick me some daisies off the lawn. I sat there with my pile of daisies, watching the boys and making a daisy chain, it occurred to me that seeing Nanna sitting there watching them ride their bikes while making daisy chains would be a lovely memory for them. It certainly was for me. I had had good intentions of making several daisy chains, but had forgotten how much time they take, because they are fiddly and easy to break.
I remember when I was a child, we had moved from Christchurch where all my Mum’s side of the family lived. Moving up to Rotorua, we had to go it alone with no relatives to support Mum and Dad. I never really thought about how hard that must have been for Mum especially. The rare trip home was exciting as we got to see our cousins and I’m sure we all had great memories of time spent with them all. Family has always been important to me, but never more so than when I moved myself and my children to Christchurch after my second marriage ended. It was such a novelty to have any of my family close by and I know my children enjoyed getting to know family here. They had grown up with their Father’s side of the family with cousins that they had a close bond with. Trips up to the North Island where they all lived were eagerly looked forward to.
I remember my Nanna coming to stay with us in Rotorua every year for a few weeks. She would share my bedroom with me and I would scurry off to bed early when she stayed. I wonder if Mum and Dad knew the reason why I was so good at going to bed? It was simply self-preservation as Nanna was a very loud snorer! I figured if I went to bed before her, I might have half a chance of getting to sleep!
My memories of my Nanna coming to stay are funny little things really. She always used to arrive with a bag of ‘pick and mix’ lollies and we would gather eagerly around her chair waiting to taste the delights within that bag of sweets. We would also go to the beach, which was probably an hour or more away. I loved spending time with my Nanna and my Mum would always say that Nanna and I could be seen “head down, bum up” looking in the rock pools. I remember those occasions well as we searched for critters or shells. We would also go fishing and would take the fish home and Nanna would gut and fillet the fish and us kids would gather round her fascinated. A strange thing to remember, but for some reason we all wanted to watch as she prepared the fish.
One thing I don’t remember is what gifts we might have received from Nanna. The only thing I remember is that Nanna used to send us a huge box containing our Christmas presents. Unlike a lot of other families, Mum and Dad never put presents under the Christmas tree. The box from Nanna and presents from our parents were kept in Mum and Dad’s bedroom. Come Christmas morning, my brothers would send me to knock on Mum and Dad’s door. “Can we come in and open our presents?” I would ask. Usually it took several goes before they gave in and we would gather round their bed and open our gifts. When the last gift was opened, we would be shooed out to go and play and I’m sure Mum and Dad would go back to sleep for a while.
This Christmas we have both our Son and his family and my daughter and her girls. I always love having them here and watching the cousins interact with each other. The house will be pure chaos, I’m sure, but happy chaos nonetheless. Every moment spent with the grandchildren is precious and hopefully we will have new memories to treasure from our time together.
I don’t know if it is my Parkinson’s or just growing older, but the times spent with my children and grandchildren is very precious. Seeing them together, playing games and just enjoying being with their cousins and my adult children connecting with each other is something I treasure. When I was diagnosed, I know that I made more of a conscious effort to spend more time with my adult children and their offspring. Getting a major diagnosis, for me made me take a step back and realise we none of us can guarantee how much time we get to have with each other. Also, losing my oldest son suddenly also brought home that we can never can for granted that we will be guaranteed time together. It was a shock to us all as it was totally unexpected and he will always be missed at family gatherings. He would love playing with the little ones and unfortunately he never got to meet all of his brother’s children. We keep his memory alive though at our gatherings and always tell the children stories about him, so he is not forgotten.
The most precious thing we can give our children and grandchildren is time. Time just being together doing simple things like going to a park, or the beach or – like me – sitting and watching them playing in the backyard making daisy chains.
What do you do to make memories with your family?
My journey with Parkinsons 