Try a little kindness…

I think there might be a song in there… maybe!

I have been trying to get back into writing poems the last few days and have done a couple. My husband is usually one of my biggest fans, but – not that he doesn’t like them – he suggested I try doing them differently instead of rhyming every two lines. I have sat here and started to do that, but my natural inclination is to like the rhythm that you get and the flow that seems to work best in rhyming in two’s. Which is a rhyming couplet by the way!

So, with the title, I suppose you could gather from that, that I thought he was being unkind. Nope. He was just expressing an opinion, which actually doesn’t have to agree with mine. So, yes, I tried to go outside of my usual trend and rhyme every second line, but it felt like I was forcing myself to fit into someone else’s way of doing things. I wrote a few lines and then deleted them, because the words were not flowing and I couldn’t feel them. Usually, I get the feeling first that I could write a few verses about something and then I write and the flow comes too. So, to be kind to myself and do what works for me, is what I will do.

Being kind. Doesn’t sound like a huge deal now does it? But, sometimes I think we can get tied up in our own stuff and not notice what is going on around us and for others. We may bend people’s ears about our ‘stuff’ but do we ask our friends and family about theirs? When we are sitting in conversation, are we just waiting for the opening to reel off all the stuff that we need to share? Are we really present with the other person? You might be the only person that “conversation companion” has that day. Isn’t that a nice wee descriptive couple of words. A “Conversation Companion” Note the capitals, I think it deserves them. I think we should always strive to be a companion in a conversation. Someone, who shares and trusts and encourages our companion to share and trust to us the things that they are feeling, thinking and experiencing. A conversation should at the least be a sharing between two people, or perhaps more. But, no matter the number of people in a conversation each should have the opportunity to share as equally as possible so they feel heard.

What I have just written has reminded me of something that happened in a conversation between myself and two other people recently. It was at the end of play at bowls and we were having a conversation over a cuppa in the clubhouse. I had one of the guys from our club on one side and my friend “M” on the other. I thought we were all in the conversation, but at one point “M” asked me for my keys so she could sit in the car. I was a bit confused and asked why – she looked a bit annoyed – and she told me that she felt left out of the conversation because I was talking to the person on my right – I was in the middle – and she didn’t feel included and was feeling a bit ticked off and left out. I felt terrible and explained that I didn’t realise she felt left out and also that having to turn round constantly, was literally giving me a pain in the neck! Next time, I said she needed to give me a poke and let me know she feels she is not in the conversation. I also suggested that she sit in the middle, so she can capture the conversation from both sides. I hated to think she felt excluded, but I was glad she told me, so that I will know for the future to be better at making sure she is included.

Sometimes perhaps all of us can be thought to be unkind, but not be aware of it. I hope that I show kindness more often than unkindness. In fact, I would hope to never be unkind, but that is probably unrealistic.

One little kindness that I’d like to share, is not a big one but puts a smile on my face when I do it. I think I have mentioned it before. But I often repeat myself, I am told, so here we go.

The Woolworths “Ooshies” are very popular with kiddies at the moment. The first time I mentioned them I had given a bag full that I had earned with my shopping to a young woman with two young children and they were very grateful for my small act of kindness. Now, I have decided that every time I get any “Ooshies” that I will give them to someone with children in the supermarket. The first batch was a lot, but even a few to give away is nice. I got two “Ooshies” with a small purchase this morning and as I went to leave I was about to pass by a woman and her daughter, I asked if they were collecting them and they said they were. I gave them the token for two and the daughter thanked me beautifully. I went out to my car and the young girl was showing her Mum the two Ooshies she received and they were both smiling. I like to think that little kindness helped make their day a little better for them.

So whether it is a 20 “Ooshie” kindness or a 2 “Ooshie” kindness, every kindness can gladden the heart of the giver and the receiver.

The kindness may be opening a door for someone.

It may be saying to the person on the checkout “Have a lovely day!” as you walk out.

It may be saying to a shop assistant how helpful they have been and showing you appreciate their efforts.

In my house, it may be emptying the dishwasher – which I often forget to do – so that my husband doesn’t have to do it!

Even a smile can change someone’s mood, it’s often hard not to smile if someone looks directly at you with a friendly smile.

I talk to strangers now. My husband says I have become like his Mum, who always used to natter to people. But sometimes, when I sit down and rest on a bench when I am out walking, someone might sit down beside me. I am more inclined to say hello to them, especially if they are elderly. I figure, I might possibly be the only person who bothers to talk to them that day – the elderly seem to become invisible don’t they – and if a brief chat makes them happy, then my work here is done.

Another memory from when I worked as a Social Worker. I would be checking on supports for patients to go home. If there was a son or daughter in the room, sometimes they could be quite scathing about the home support their Mum or Dad was getting. They might say, “I don’t know what they are supposed to do, but they seem to spend more time chatting than doing housework!” What some perhaps well-meaning adult children don’t often get is that their elderly parent often looks forward to the support worker/cleaner/showering assistant coming. Not so much because they are wanting the housework done, but because it is someone to chat to and maybe they will even take the time to sit down and have a cuppa. For some people that is what they feel they need. Mopping or vacuuming can wait!

So, I choose to try to be kind every day in some small way.

Maybe someone will take the opportunity to show a little kindness my way too!