Disability or Accessibility?

Lucky me, I started yesterday with a head cold. Isn’t it strange how one night you can go to bed feeling fine and then wake up in the morning sneezing or coughing, or both! So, that’s me. Started yesterday and so don’t like my chances of recording any sort of podcast. There’s enough to contend with as it is with a gravelly morning voice, let alone trying to record something worthwhile in between sneezes!

Yesterday, we were at a lovely country pub/restaurant meeting up with my husband’s cousin and her husband. Myself, my husband and my sister-in-law made up the rest of the party. A good time was had by all, some reminiscing – the cousins – and some hearing stories from the past for the first time. We have met up with the cousins before a couple of times, so I was quite comfortable with them. I happily sat and ate my meal as the cousins chatted about childhood memories. Then we got onto our lives and happenings since last we saw each other. All in all, a lovely lunch and family catchup.

The title of this post is “Disability or Accessibility?”

This is why…

Soon after arriving I decided I needed to go to the toilet/bathroom. I walked towards the bar to ask where the toilets were. She told me to go to the bar and the toilets were upstairs. Thinking there might be two or three steps, I soon found out there were three flights of stairs to climb. Now, I can do steps slowly and carefully, so it’s not that I necessarily absolutely can’t do stairs, because physically I can. The problem for me is, post my knee surgery and most recent back surgery, I do get quite a bit of pain sometimes attempting steps. Sometimes I am reasonably fine.

I valiantly made my way up the stairs to the top, did what I needed to do and came back down the stairs. The stairs were steep and I was nervous coming down them. Coming down seems always to be the worst. There were handrails, but one set was not easy to grip, so I was very carefully navigating my descent.

I got to the bottom of the stairs and soon after encountered the young staff member who I had asked for directions to the bathroom. I asked if there were any toilets other than those upstairs. She turned and pointed to the ‘accessible’ toilets which coincidentally were very close to our table, but hidden from passing view. I asked why she didn’t tell me of this option and it seemed to only warrant a bare minimum ‘sorry’ and a shrug of the shoulders. Above I have copied a sign that I think should be more prevalent in public areas. It says ‘Not all disabilities are visible’ and I had seen a similar sign on a previous trip to the UK. As an example I have worked with people with early stage dementia . For them a factor for needing an accessible toilet may be that it is closer to where a person was dining if they had issues with memory and going to the other end of the building might cause confusion and distress.

When I had returned to the table, I was actually feeling a bit upset. I have been trying to pinpoint exactly why and the answer is not easy to put my finger on. Was I upset that she hadn’t told me about the fact that there was a toilet for those with disabilities – as most accessible toilets are identified in this way – and therefore could have been saved the trek upstairs? Perhaps partly. But, more than that, I think it was more about the fact that I was not offered the choice with the assumption that I was able bodied enough to use a ‘normal’ facility? The fact that I would perhaps have had to explain why I ‘qualified’ to use a Disabled bathroom was challenging. As the sign above says – and I explained to my dining companions – not all disabilities are obvious as mine are not. Feeling like I had to justify myself asking for the disabled toilets – even if the staff member hadn’t asked as such – felt uncomfortable.

Perhaps this was a good thing to happen, for me to have the opportunity to share with family what life with a hidden disability can be like.

The feeling of tearfulness didn’t last long, but made me think about how many people may have battled up those stairs thinking that they didn’t qualify as disabled? Do any of us want to have that label attached? My husband and I usually use the term ‘accessible’ when asking about facilities. That sits better for us than stating that I have a disability as such.

How do you feel about accessing ‘disabled’ toilet facilities?

Do you feel you need to justify if you don’t look disabled?

Perhaps if the staff member had given me the two options, I would have felt able to make a choice without needing to justify.