‘You’re looking grumpy!’

I read with interest a post on the Facebook page that I follow for those affected by PD and those that support them.

In the post the person was talking about their behaviours and how they may not always be fully aware of them. At times they say that their children had thought they were angry with them and felt hurt and confused. He talks about being agitated at times and that leading to people thinking they were angry and how he manages the situation, at times removing himself till the agitation passes.

It got me thinking about how I address this myself. If I am trying to interact with someone who appears to not be happy or appear so it is important to address that quickly. Something simply like ‘you’re looking a bit grumpy!’ might open conversation and give them the opportunity to voice what they are feeling. If someone well-meaning comes along and tries to jolly the person out of their mood, it often makes things worse. However, by saying something like ‘you look grumpy, upset, whatever’ gives them the opportunity to say ‘Yes, I am grumpy today because…’ or ‘No, I’m OK why do you ask?’ which opens dialogue. You can then have a chat about how things are for the person and even if they have not been in the best of moods, just giving them the opportunity to share how they are feeling often changes the mood for the better.

I know that as things progress people can have a ‘mask-like’ face which doesn’t show emotion very well. I am sure that this would make those trying to interact with them difficult as looking at a person will not necessarily give you the right clues as to what their mood is.

The worst thing I think would be if people just assume what mood we are in and treat us accordingly. They may be reading signs wrong and be totally off the mark, which could cause frustration for the PWP and those trying to support them.

For me, I hope that those that care for me would ask how I am feeling and give me the opportunity to respond. In that way, I hope both sides would have a clearer understanding of what is happening for me and less misunderstanding may occur.