As any of you who follow this Blog will know, I have stated that I have always been a ‘words person’ rather than a ‘numbers person’. I often say that there is a good reason I am a Social Worker and not an Accountant and that is because I have never got on with numbers.
A lot of the reason that I don’t ‘get on with numbers’ I can trace back to my Maths teacher at school. I went to a private girls’ school which was run by the Catholic Church. Because of this the majority of our teachers were Nuns. Now the Nun who was our Maths teacher was called ‘Sister Joan’. She was the meanest teacher I have ever come across.
When I was at college I was in a class with three other ‘Susans’ . Sister Joan had a habit of saying ‘Susan, come up here and do this problem on the board’ without specifying which Susan she was talking to. We would all sit at our desks not responding and hoping she wasn’t talking to us. As we continued to sit, Sister Joan would get more and more irate repeating ‘Susan, come up here and do this problem on the board!’ In desperation, one of us would stand up and she would say, ‘Not you! Susan……’ and thus the victim was chosen.
The chosen Susan would stand at the board. I remember when it was my turn to be the unfortunate Susan standing at the board, chalk in hand shaking and saying, ‘I’m sorry Sister, I don’t know how to do it!’ At which time she would stand behind you and with her hand she would hit you between the shoulder blades saying ‘You do so know how to do it!’ hitting you hard with each word. This didn’t provide the desired result and I still wouldn’t know the answer and would be ordered back to my seat crying. By the end of the maths class several of us would have had the same treatment and be sitting in tears in the class.
Fast forward some 50 years or so and I have always had difficulty with questions about anything to do with numbers especially if I am rushed. The more pressure I feel, the harder I find it is to think things through. Obviously, we use numbers to talk about money, so if I am trying to understand calculations in relation to money or am asked questions in relation to finances and I feel hurried I can feel myself getting more and more anxious as I try to respond.
It wasn’t till tonight after a discussion with my husband that I realised that my difficulties probably stemmed from being at the hands – quite literally – of Sister Joan. I had never realised it before. I wonder now if my difficulties and stress when feeling under pressure to work out anything with numbers have all been caused by my experiences as a teenager. Add to that the anxiety inherent with this condition and it is not surprising that perhaps Parkies has accentuated my pre-existing difficulties. Coupled with slowed processing, this is not a great combination!
I shared my thoughts with my husband tonight and I am happy to say he was very understanding. Perhaps he has wondered all the years we have been together why discussing finances aka ‘numbers’ has always stressed me out! Even when I have had a good income.
Perhaps now we have the answer!
My journey with Parkinsons 