For some reason when I am going about my daily life, I have words and sometimes quotes just pop into my head. I don’t know why, but that’s just the way it is. The same with my poems. I often have a poem start to form in my head just randomly and I have to write it down. Words have always been my thing!
So, this weekend while my husband was out walking I had this quote come to me.
“O, wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!
by Robert Burns
That is the original Scottish version and below I have put an English translation.
“Oh would some power the gift give us, to see ourselves as others see us!”
— Robert Burns
Basically, this speaks to me, as I often don’t see my value, or my physical appearance as do others. My boss frequently says to me that I am a valued member of our team with wisdom and experience. My colleague, who is the other Social Worker on the team often says she has learnt so much from me and that I have been a real help to her in her practice. For someone who honestly often has performance anxiety and a lack of confidence in herself – despite other people valuing me – perhaps that is why this quote came to me?
My husband and I went out for dinner and I asked him if I should wear makeup. He responded that I don’t need makeup as I am beautiful without it. For someone who looks in the mirror when not wearing makeup and thinks they are quite plain, this is a challenge for me. Perhaps I should just accept that for him I am beautiful and accept that gracefully?
I said something to him today about his not realising when he took me on as his partner/wife that I would have all these maladies. He didn’t really know what he was getting into. I have intimated in the past that if he had he would have run a mile! His response is always that I am not a burden, never would be and that he loves me for what and who I am.
My grandchildren – especially the girls – always say I should run a bakery as I am an amazing baker. I have baked since I was a teenager, so I don’t see that I do something particularly special, but to them everything I make they appreciate and think they are wonderful. Again, perhaps I should just accept that this is how they think of me and that it is a wonderful thing for grandchildren to admire me as their Nanna.
For those of us with Parkinson’s – plus for some, like me a concoction of other maladies – it can be easy to think we are not someone to be valued or admired because of our health issues. I have had people say how brave I am to still be working in a stressful job such as mine, but I don’t see myself as being brave. Perhaps I should listen and acknowledge that actually maybe they have something there? Maybe I am brave and stronger than I might have thought? That I have value despite my Parkinson’s and maybe because of it?
Perhaps the value that I have because of my Parkinson’s is that I can emphathise more with those I try to support as my own health journey has been less than smooth? I have supported my parents in the past when they had Parkinson’s so I know both firsthand for myself and as someone caring for their parents, so really do know what it is like for my patients and their families. I share the fact that my parents had Parkinson’s but not my own journey. It does help me to connect and most of the time my support and understanding helps me to help them better than before my diagnosis. For most patients and families, I am fortunate that I am appreciated.
As Robbie said – and I paraphrase here – if we could only have the gift of seeing ourselves as others see us, perhaps we would appreciate our contribution and value to others much more than we do!
My journey with Parkinsons 