Sometimes I’d rather limp…

Let me just say, that at this stage my Parkinson’s is very manageable and I am lucky in that regard. My medications work well – even though I often take them late – and I don’t seem to have any real issues with mobilising.

The thing is this. I have an injured knee at present. I tore my meniscus months ago, which then caused me to have a Baker’s cyst which burst, plus I also tore my calf muscle. So, three things have caused my right knee to be painful and problematic. Considering this is my ‘good’ leg ie. my non-Parkinson’s one, it is a bit of an annoyance to say the least.

We are off on a UK trip soon for two months to see family. To prepare for this, I have an appointment to have an injection in my right knee area which hopefully, will make walking better and – fingers crossed – get rid of the pain, at least for the duration of our holiday. I bought myself a fold-up walking stick recently to take on that trip, but I can be reluctant to use it. It feels like I am needing the use of an aid much sooner than I am comfortable with and because I don’t need it due to my Parkinson’s it feels unfair. I admit I might have a bit of a complex about it.

So, I bought this fold-up walking stick to help me walk with my sore knee. I work in a hospital, so walk about the ward several times a day. It would be sensible – would it not – to use it at work if I have pain! However, I struggle with the whole idea of being seen with an aid. I will take it to the UK but am hoping that the injection will work, and I won’t need to use it.

One thing I said to my husband is that I don’t want people to think that the walking stick is because of my Parkinson’s. I feel uncomfortable with people thinking that I am at that stage and have expressed this to my husband. I don’t want people to look at me and think that I have progressed to that stage due to my condition when I have not.

So, I tend not to use my stick at work, lest I be thought to need it due to my Parkinson’s. It is vanity and it is ridiculous, but it is a barrier that I need to get my head around. I know when my Mum had to start using a stick because of her Parkinson’s I used to tell her off for not using it. Now I understand why she struggled with having to use an aid. I finally get it!

They say ‘pride goes before a fall’ quite literally this could be the case if I don’t use the support of a stick at the moment!

I just need to get over myself and get on and use my stick if I need it!