Valentines Day…

romance in the air??

So today is 14 February, Valentines Day. A day when – if we have them – some of us might make romantic gestures towards our partners. Or perhaps a secret admirer will emerge to sweep us off our feet with sweet roses and sweet nothings?

But what is romance really? Is it all about greeting cards and chocolates and flowers, or grandiose gestures to show our love? Or is it something more meaningful?

I suppose when I was young and in the throes of my starry-eyed youth, I might have thought that those gestures and gifts meant romance. In part, I guess they do. However, romance and the essence of Valentines Day do not have to be confined to one day a year. Having been in a relationship which was very unhealthy in so many ways all the flowers and chocolates in the world don’t make up for that. I am blessed now with an amazing husband who is – I think – very romantic.

How is he romantic? Well, in many ways. It’s going and watering my greenhouse when I’ve had a busy day and struggling off the couch is just too hard. It’s pumping up the tyres on my e-bike before I go for a ride, even though he has to get ready for work. It’s about giving me space to do my own thing, if I just want to be by myself after a busy day at work. Yes, to me being romantic can sometimes be about not being together 24/7, but knowing the person you love well enough to know that right now, they might just need some space for a bit.

It’s about me cooking meals for my husband and buying him little gifts sometimes ‘just because’. It’s going out for dinner and not spending all our time looking at our devices but focusing on each other. It’s about sharing interests and having our own separate interests too. It’s about knowing the person you are with and taking the time to find out what they need.

Romance is also about acknowledging the reality of this diagnosis, but sticking around to support me in an uncertain future. It can be about telling me I’m beautiful – you should see me in my trackies – even though I’m feeling anything but. It is being seen through the eyes of love and knowing neither of us is perfect, but that we are perfect for each other.

Romance means different things to different people and our vision of romance can change as we grow older and grow into a relationship.

Romance doesn’t have to be flowers, but I won’t say no to the odd bunch or two!

Happy Valentines Day everyone and if you don’t have a partner at the moment, remember to love yourself too!