While I try my best to live for today, I continue to consider and plan for the future and what changes we may need to make in our lives together. I am a planner. I always have been. Partly, it’s my training as a Social Worker, looking at the ‘what if’s?’
We live in a two storey house – which I adore – with our bedroom and ensuite upstairs. I have always said I never want to leave this house, but practically speaking I may have to consider it at some stage. I think – for me – it is a mistake to deal in ‘absolutes’ as in, ‘I absolutely will never consider moving into another home that’s more accessible in the future’ or ‘I absolutely will never go into care’. I need to prepare and consider these eventualities one day being necessary, so that if/when the time comes I am not battling against my own entrenched position of what I will or will not accept.
The same goes for how long I work. In my job I could work well into my 60’s and some work into their 70’s. But do I now want to? I always said I would work till at least 65, but now I wonder? My husband is two years older than me and is planning to retire in three years. We have had serious discussions about me trying to retire now at the same time. What is most important now is that we spend ‘quality’ time together. Time to travel and just be with each other as husband and wife and enjoy our lives together before he becomes labelled as ‘carer’. Something I struggle with…
So, I will continue to endeavour to live in the moment, but with the knowledge that I need to – for me – constantly be open to change and adjusting my thinking when it comes to what my future may bring. I know if I don’t do that, I will feel unprepared and not thinking these things through for me is scarier than considering the options that may present themselves in the future.