Just the other day, my husband and I went to a stately home for a walk round it’s amazing gardens. They were stunning and we both thoroughly enjoyed seeing them. However, because of my Parkinson’s I didn’t feel as able to view as much of the garden as my husband did.
I feel that when we go to these places, it is especially important that we communicate with each other about how we are feeling and what we can/want to do. I was feeling very weary having had a busy few days with friends out and about. My husband loves to take photographs and also to take much longer walks than I can at times. I encouraged him to look around as I sat and enjoyed the view. One thing I hope we can continue to do for some time is that I can support him to have the long walks that he needs as long as I remain safe on my own.
After we had been there a while, we decided to go home to our accommodation. As there was a steep hill to climb to where we parked, I opted to wait for him to walk up and pick up the car and come down to fetch me. Not so long ago, I probably would have said that I was OK to walk back to the car, when in truth I was shattered from walking round the grounds. I am pleased that i have reached the stage when I can admit I am too tired to walk up a hill if there is the option to have my husband pick me up. In conserving my energy, this can mean that I can recover enough from the day’s walking to be able to do out for dinner and a bit of a walk.
While I was waiting for my husband to pick me up, I noticed an older gentleman’s interactions with his wife. She was also going to fetch their car to save him the walk up the hill. He was obviously fatigued and was standing while waiting to be picked up. I called up to him and told him he was welcome to share the bench I was sitting on. He looked relieved and thanked me for my kind offer. In response, I said to him “That’s OK, us ‘Wobbly Walkers’ need to stick together.
As we shared the bench awaiting our spouses, he told me that he and his wife would come to the gardens every season and that it was their favourite place. We had a nice chat about the gardens and some general chat till our spouses came with their cars. My husband laughs at me and says that I will chat to anyone these days. My standard response is “I am channeling my ‘Inner Pat’ comparing myself with his Mum who passed away several years ago. We always used to give her a hard time about chatting to everyone. Now I am in the same boat. Perhaps as we get older we recognise that social interaction is an important part of life. Perhaps also when meeting someone older it is not always evident that the other person may be less social – if they were at all prior – and that we all need to have some social interaction in our lives. It is not always obvious if a person is lonely or isolated and as I find myself chatting to people, I have thought afterwards I may have been their only conversation that day, or maybe even that week. If I can put a smile on someone’s face and make them happy by a simple conversation, then that’s a good thing for both of us.
So, despite my husband’s amusement – Mr Hermit – I think I will continue to say a friendly hello to those I meet and be the person who takes some time in their day to give the gift of conversation. All the while recognising that our interaction may be the only real conversation that person may have had for a while.
So Pat, I hope you are happy that I have taken up the mantel to chat and put a smile on other people’s faces. It always puts a smile on mine.
My journey with Parkinsons 