We are currently at the beginning of our trip to the UK, having checked into a Hotel in Singapore. To while away the time, I have watched various series on the plane, one of which was called “Shrinking” alluding to – it appears – to the main characters working as “Shrinks” or Psychologists. I was surprised to learn that one of the main players, which was played by Harrison Ford, had a diagnosis of Parkinson’s. Perhaps the shrinking in the title might have in part referred to his shrinking of capabilities, which the story reflected.
Harrison’s character, while not being the main protagonist, had some interesting insights I thought for people with Parkinson’s – like myself – and those supporting them. It was a good insight, I thought into the thoughts, feelings and perhaps fears of one in the early stages of this condition.
Harrison (he) had an adult daughter, whose mother he had separated and ultimately divorced. With the break-up she had moved away and taken their only daughter with them. He admitted to others that he had not made any great efforts to keep in touch with his daughter, seeing her rarely as she had grown up. Now as an adult he was trying to reconnect with her and have some sort of relationship.
There came a scene where he had driven into the carpark where the partners in the firm parked their vehicles. His female colleague had arrived just before him in her brand new car. Coming in too quickly he ended up hitting the side of her car which of course drew an angry response from his colleague. Next cue a discussion with her and the other Psychologist where they both queried whether he was safe to drive. They encouraged – just barely short of insisted – that he take a driving test to see if he was still safe to drive. He subsequently did so and managed to pass, but chose to stop driving from that time, catching a lift with his female colleague to work.
This scenario hit home to me and was a very timely – and somewhat unsettling – scenario to my own life with Parkinson’s. Approximately two weeks ago, I had turned the corner to park in a disabled parking spot and somehow – I am still not so sure how – instead of braking – accelerated into the building in front of me. Luckily, no-one was hurt apart from my own significant bruising from the air bags and the seatbelt. My biggest fear as a result was that I would be deemed unfit to drive. We met with my GP and after some discussion, it was agreed that I be able to continue to drive, but that my ability to continue would likely be informed mostly from feedback from my husband. If my husband felt no longer safe to be in the passenger seat when I drive, then that would be the yardstick by which my ability would be measured. My GP also emphasised that while he was concerned with my welfare he also expressed concern – and rightly so – of the possible risk to others that might be hurt if I was no longer safe. He also stated the realities of having Parkinson’s with reduced reaction times would pose a higher risk than perhaps others of similar age without Parkinson’s. So, you can see from this post that the fictional character and I were pretty closely aligned.
Harrison had some good lines in relation to how he managed his own experience of Parkinson’s. At one stage he stated, “You’ve got to face the pain. If you don’t it will come back at get you!” This was in relation to his grief on learning his diagnosis and on living with the condition, but also in relation to any situation in which a person was grieving. Another thing he said was to acknowledge grief regularly. He did this by playing sad music, or watching something sad and giving himself 15 minutes in which to totally grieve and cry. He set a timer and in that allotted time focussed on his grief and cried.
Back to Harrison’s character and his relationship with his daughter. He had not told her of his diagnosis and had been hesitant to do so. He rang her and told her. As a result, the next thing his daughter came down to visit for a week, to ‘help sort things out’. She came to a neurologist appointment and she organised Power of Attorney. Next thing, she told him that she and her husband agreed that he should come and live with them, which was several miles away from his friends, his business and his support systems. She became angry with him when he gently advised her that he did not feel he needed to take that step for a while yet, if at all. She threw at him, words to the effect that “Oh, you want to wait until we have to do everything for you!” and then stormed off. From my perspective, I can identify with him wanting to maintain his independence for as long as possible. The last things we all want is to lose our independence and our social connections to this condition earlier than we need to. Also, his daughter referred to him as being “sick”. I do not consider myself to be sick and neither did he. This to me is not a sickness – nor do I ever refer to it as a disease – but a condition that needs to be managed over a lifetime post diagnosis. I also struggle with ‘the sympathy look’ and the ‘I’m so sorry’ response. I know people are trying to show empathy and concern, but I prefer if I tell someone that it is briefly acknowledged, with little of the ‘poor me’s’ and just move on with the conversation. Some days, I don’t feel like I have anything much wrong with me and perhaps can try to have a normal day, but there is always something that draws me back to reality.
This has almost come out in this blog as a review of the series and in part I guess it is. The thing that I found most refreshing and powerful was the portrayal of someone with Parkinson’s who was still living a useful and productive life. Most often when Parkinson’s is portrayed it is at the latter stages where symptoms have become obvious and problematic. To see Harrison Ford’s capabilities in this depiction of Parkinson’s was something it would be good to see more of, to emphasise what we can still achieve in a life well lived with Parkinson’s.
If you get the chance have a look at “Shrinking” it is well acted and has funny moments as well as poignant ones and I found it very enjoyable.
My journey with Parkinsons 