Yesterday was one of those days, where so many things outside of my control threatened to upset my equilibrium (big word for the morning) and send me into a mental tail spin.
It started with my regular swimming session at the local pool. I am still trying to get the hang of doing freestyle again and the main problem is that I struggle to get to grips with breathing. It is harder than you think – if you haven’t tried it before – and requires almost constant reminders to breathe, are my ams joining in as they should and am I remembering to kick, etc, etc
A well meaning person, who has been coming to the pool for a while now, so I do know him, tried to give me some advice on my technique. He had several goes at it and at one stage it seemed at each end he was lying in wait for me. He rattled off some advice on various aspects of my style and what I was doing wrong. All, I am sure, with the best intentions but it just caused my brain to go into panic mode. Well, it leapt from feeling very busy and racing in all sorts of directions, to ‘nope not doing any more of that thinking stuff, right now’
So, I politely told him how my condition affects my thinking and results in slowed processing. Because of this, too much information however well intentioned, just sends my brain into a tailspin and I don’t manage to keep any of it in my brain as it floats just beyond my grasp. However, despite nodding and saying ‘yes, I understand’ he continued in his quest to educate me in the fine art of swimming freestyle. I tell you, the last two lengths I did were atrocious. Not only did I not get my breathing right, but I probably took the water level in the pool down a notch or two in inhaling water instead of air at times. Perhaps if I take the time to think about things, I may have retained enough information to be useful. Only time will tell.
I have also had problems with the system I use to record my podcasts and despite several attempts at remedying them. The challenge of trying to get the information I need to achieve an edit and post my podcast is not made easier when helpdesk people give rapid fire instructions. I have to remind myself that I have a compromised brain and need to give it more care and attention, rather than stressing it out with two much information.
Frustration too today when I emailed someone from the Ministry of Social Development who had given me their card and told me to call any time if I needed help. So, I send an email to them this morning, only to receive one back telling me to ring the 0800 line, which often has wait times of 30+ hours to talk to someone. My query was quite a simple one for someone experienced I’m sure. So, despite giving me her card and previously telling me to contact her if I needed help I got an email back telling me to call the 0800! I pointed out to her, why did she give me her card and tell me to call if I needed help, if she was just going to fob me off with the 0800 line. I haven’t heard back as yet, she is probably annoyed at me. But, hey, why give your card if you don’t want to be contacted?
Anyway, if you’d like to hear more about my frustration, pop over to my podcast and have a listen on Spotify podcasts under ‘My journey with Parkinson’s’.
My journey with Parkinsons 