‘Across the generations’…

 Today I’ve called this post ‘Across the generations’ and I’ve called it that because of an experience I had taking my uncle who’s 89 out op shopping and for coffee and lunch. We’ve often done this together ever since his wife became ill and then ultimately passed away last year.

So we’ve just, I don’t know if celebrated is the right word, but we’ve just honored her memory on the day that she passed last year, with fish and chips and laughter and being together as a family. It was just my cousin and her partner, and my husband and I, and my uncle. It’s just so nice to be able to have him as part of our lives.

He is precious. He is the precious only one who represents that generation that’s left in our family. When he is no longer with us, my husband and I will be the elders, which makes me feel old. But age is not such a bad thing. If you can have the attitude that my uncle has, he is positive and doing well in his newly single life.

He is managing so well At 89, he is an inspiration and he’s a laugh. We have lots of laughs when we go out and we both love op shopping. We go out op shopping and often when I go to the counter with a few bits and pieces that I might like to purchase, he whips out his card and says, no, I’m paying for that!” If I try to refuse, he gives me the ‘grumpy uncle’ face and I have to give in, but I will buy coffee or something along the way. We enjoy each other’s company and it’s lovely. I was talking to my daughter the other night and my youngest granddaughter is 11, going on 12. He has spent some time with her previously and he just really gets a lot of joy out of being with her, and it’s lovely to see.

He said to me after the last time that we spent time together, the three of us, he said, “you can bring her around anytime. She’s a cracker.” and that was delightful. So, when I talked to my daughter, she said that my granddaughter had said she wanted to spend some time with my husband and I, so I talked to her and said, “Do you want to just go out for the day? Do you want to come and stay for a couple of days? What do you want to do?” And she said, “I’d love to come and stay for a couple of days!” So that was arranged.

We all spent some time together and then went our separate ways, me blobbing in front of the telly, my grand-daughter in her room and my husband in his study. Then we all went out for dinner. We have a good balance between spending some time together and doing our own thing. So, my grand-daughter, uncle and I decided to go and have lunch at Burger King. Now, I’m not sure if my 89-year-old uncle would normally go to Burger King, it was just something different to do and something that my granddaughter enjoyed and so I needed to use the facilities when we first got there. And I said, “Can you help him to figure out what he wants for lunch?” So, I came back and it was really quite a sweet thing to witness. There she was with the screen showing him how to tap in your choices. He was intently following what she was doing and asking questions, and she was so patient and so kind.

She helped him to kind of choose what he wanted to have and it was just lovely to see them interacting. It’s something that maybe people undervalue, the benefits and the value of this intergenerational mix of getting together with people that are a couple of generations older than you. Just listening and spending time with them and valuing them as a person with a history, with a future. Sure, not a huge, long future ahead of him at 89, but while he’s with us, we will value that time that we spend with him. So, we had a day of lots of laughs, lots of cheek it as is sort of the same with most members of my family. We all give each other cheek, but, it’s all done with love and respect. We had a really lovely time and I said, said to them today, when we are sitting having lunch, I said, “You know, if we had Layla’s mum here, that would be four generations of our family all sitting and having a meal together”.

It’s amazing that we all have this opportunity to spend time with each other, to value each other, share stories, and make new memories. Sometimes I think we can undervalue that, that time spent with any members of our family, young or old or in between, that we don’t have to do anything grand. We don’t have to spend lots of money, but it’s just about being together, having fun and building those memories, like I said. So, I really loved spending the day with my granddaughter and my uncle her great uncle.

We were chatting and I said to him that he was her great uncle and then I realised he was her great great uncle. H said, “surely I’m not her great-great uncle.” I said, “I think you are. I said, you are my uncle. You’re my daughter’s great uncle. So that makes you her great great unce!” and he said, “Oh my goodness. That makes me her great-great uncle!” I said, “Yep, that makes you her great-great uncle!” So yeah, we had a ball today and I’m sure we’ll do it again.

For those of us that have a condition like Parkinson’s, we have value. We are getting older. As everybody is in the world, that’s still around. And I hope that when I get to 89, if I make that ripe old age, that somebody will say to me, “Hey, do you want to come out for the day? Do you want to come out for a coffee? Do you want to go and go Opp shopping?” Whatever, spend some time at the beach, have a picnic. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, but as long as we continue to be valued and that people want to spend time with us, then we will feel that we have a place in their world. And it’s just those little things, watching children grow, watching them develop, and it’s a wonderful thing to have that time with older people like my uncle.

And I think he’s particularly impressed – and I am too with my granddaughter when I take her places – whether it’s Opp shopping, whether it’s anywhere, she is so polite. She is so lovely to people that she meets. Usually when we leave, a shop she’ll say, “Have a good day”. And people just, you can see them melt with those big blue eyes looking at them and that smile on their face.

She is a delight and yeah, sure, she’s not a delight all the time. As her mother will probably attest as none of us are. We can’t always be bright and bubbly and happy and polite, but the essence of that child, the essence of my grandchildren is one that they’ve been brought up with respect and with love, and they treat people with respect in turn. Just as my uncle deserves to be honored and respected for his age, then perhaps sometimes the youngest member of our families at 11 years of age, she still has her opinions, her thoughts, things that she needs and wants from us, and needs to be listened to too.

No matter what age, no matter what stage, we all need to feel valued and a part of a family and part of something bigger than ourselves where we can contribute and be valued. So, spending time with my granddaughter, my uncle, and myself, just hopping from Opp shop to Opp shop, having lunch at Burger King and having laughs together and making magical memories.

I hope you can make magical memories with your family too.