“The Bloodsucker’s Curse” – A podcast and poem

I have been cursed with really tricky veins and have had even the most experienced phlebotomist (there is no rhyme …) have to give up and walk away defeated. It has been consistently a problem and I get tense every time someone requires that I have blood taken. It is usually preceded by something like, ‘just pop into your nearest lab and get them to take a sample…’. Like it is something that is going to be quick and easy. It is often neither of those two.

I don’t know why I had never thought to write a poem about it. The podcast is below. But here are the words if you prefer to read it.

The bloodsucker’s curse


All of my life I have suffered a curse
That has defeated many a nurse

Or even blood suckers who have fancy titles
Have really had trouble, even when it’s been vital

To get blood out of me, yes many have known
It would be much easier to get blood from a stone

Many a person has said this to me
I’ll get your blood out, how hard can it be?

But three times in one arm and three in the next
Many a person has come away vexed

I’m good at my job, I know what I’m doing
Said many a person, then fro’ing and to’ing

Even those that have been undefeated
Have had to give up, resources depleted

They can’t find a vein though so hard they are looking
They’ll go off to lunch, when they all see my booking

The person will then play vein hide and seek
They go in quite cocky, leave defeated and meek

They tried to take blood from the back of my hand
I can tell you right now, that doesn’t feel grand

Or desperate measures they try then my foot
My god, but it hurts wherever it’s put

“please dangle your arm, please make a fist.”
More often than not, my veins still resist

Please drink lots of water, that will help heaps
As I cross my fingers as blood sucker creeps

And keep yourself warm with a warmed bag with wheat
To warm up your veins, then it will be sweet!

A sceptical me, said I will sure try it
A wheat bag I needed so I went to buy it

With wheat bag then nested clutched tight to my arm
The blood sucker came and it worked like a charm!

So, many years on so many battles unwon
A plan to take blood has finally been done

I wish I had known all these difficult years
Would have saved them and me, so many tears


Here it is.