This weekend we have had our beautiful three grand-daughters for the night on Friday night so their parents could go out to a Xmas do. Recently, we have usually had them stay with us for two nights, but the big girls (13) were going to ‘Armageddon’ a sort of Comic-con event. It is popular with teenagers and many adults too. The girls were very excited at going and had planned their outfits for a long time. One of the girls has a distinct liking for all things black in the way of clothing and today was no exception. She doesn’t really identify as such, but I sometimes call her my ‘Goth Girl’. She was getting organised and I realised I had a necklace that might go with her outfit if she liked it. I’m pleased to say that she did and I also found some earrings that went well too.
Watching my grand-children grow up and sharing these moments as they start the transition to more independence is a privilege and a joy. I looked at her wearing my necklace and I said, ‘You know what? I think you should keep that necklace and earrings if you would like to!’ I was pleased when she said she would like to. Then I found a couple of rings that don’t fit on my arthritic fingers anymore and gave them to her as well, with the promise that she would share them with her twin sister.
I was talking to my daughter (their Mum) and said to her that I have quite a few bits of jewellery in my jewellery box. Some with some value, but mostly sentimental. I said to her, that one day she and the girls are likely to inherit my jewellery anyway – I’ll have to think about what I might gift to the three boys – and it gives me pleasure to give them now while I can see the joy in their faces. I hope that in the future my grand-daughter will look at that necklace and remember how I gave it to her on the day she and her sister went to Armageddon and that will give it a happy memory. Rather than getting it after I pass on and it would have a sad memory attached.
Parkinson’s makes me think of these things more these days. What will they remember of times spent together? What moments have special meaning and memories for them? Will the trinkets I share with them perhaps for a school ball or a special date or other occasion bring a smile to their faces when I am no longer here to see it? Why not give some to them now and hopefully share that joy now while I can?
I have no intention of shuffling off this mortal coil for some time to come, but as I have said on several occasions, I am a planner. I have things I have collected over time that any of my grand-children might like. As life goes along, perhaps I can gradually gift some of those things to them. To me that’s not being morbid or anything, but if when they visit they see something of mine – that I can bear to part with – and they like it, maybe I can gift them some of those things.
Making those I love happy is very important to me. Making them happy at the same time, makes me happy too. It’s a Win Win! Maybe more people could think about doing this, so that the things our family inherit from us – at least in part – might have a happy memory of the day it was gifted, rather than the sadness of our passing being attached.
My journey with Parkinsons 