It is true what they say about retirement. Sometimes life feels so busy that I wonder how I found the time to work! I have even had difficulty getting to write any blog posts. I just haven’t had the time. The same goes for my podcasts. I have had a bug that made me lose my voice, plus it resulted in a horrendous cough, which I am only just getting under control. It has been impossible to do my podcasts because I either don’t have any voice, or I cough myself silly when I talk too much – and it is not much compared to my usual vocalisations – or both at the same time.
At the moment and for the past several weeks I have been helping a family member with some legal issues. I am not a lawyer at all, but my training as a social worker helps me to face things like complicated forms and legal requirements and to assist in providing information needed. That said, it is no small task and I know I won’t be the only one glad to have the tasks required completed.
I have also helped a good friend with organising an assessment for a medical alarm. She lives on her own and is very independent, but also prone to falling, so the alarm gives her and her family – and me – reassurance that if she has a fall when she is out and about that she can summon help. It is a GPS one, so operates anywhere in the country, not just confined to her home and surrounds.
I find myself drawn into conversations about supports needed at home – not always by the people having the conversation – I can’t help but prick up my ears when I hear someone talking about these things. I sometimes might excuse myself and offer advice if I can. The advice most often is to talk to their GP, but I can give some guidance as to what they are likely to qualify for in the way of supports and services.
After 20 years of being a Social Worker and also my own history of getting through some pretty tough times, I don’t think I will ever stop wanting to help people. It doesn’t mean that I leap in boots and all for any scenario, but if I know people and I am aware that they might need some help with things that are within my field of expertise, then I am happy to offer a bit of advice and/or point them in the right direction.
I was helping my friend with some arrangements for her upcoming overseas trip and she was very grateful for my help. Then we started talking about my own circumstances with my Parkinson’s. She has met my husband and although she has not spent any real time with him, she knows quite a bit about how we work as a couple. The main thing we talked about today was my husband’s need to be able to get a good walk in when he is not working. When I say ‘a good walk’ he likes to go out for 3-4 hours at a time if he can. I used to join him, but am not up to it at the moment. These walks are not just exercise for him, they are an essential part of his self-care. He recharges his battery by getting out in the fresh air and having these walks. My friend and I talked about how important the walks are to him and I said that any point I am not safe to be left alone, that it will be important to have someone in the house for 4 hours or so, so that he can have his walks. To some having a walk doesn’t sound like it is essential, but in his life and in our relationship I know that they are vitally important.
This Parkinson’s life is not just my life, it is his also. In order for us to continue to live together happily we both need to know each other’s needs and ensure that each has what they need. For me, it has become my ability to spend time with my friend or friends. It is playing cards on a Monday, swimming three times a week and playing bowls at least twice a week. I have not been able to do any of these things for a couple of weeks because I have been unwell, so I have been really missing them. Luckily, I started back at bowls last week, just a couple of short roll-ups, but it made me feel like I was getting better.
This week, I am back to my usual routine and am happy to get back into all my activities. It is true what they say “Happy wife, happy life” because I know that my poor husband has to put up with a grumpy wife who needs more input and support than usual when I am stuck at home. I have been quite good this week and definitely on the road to recovery. I have started going out and about and he has had more space and time to do his own thing, which of course makes him happier too! I’m afraid there is not an equivalent “Happy wife…” statement for husbands, but suffice it to say that a happy and engaged me getting out and about doing the things I want to do, is the best thing for both of us.
Here’s to getting back to health and happiness for us both!
My journey with Parkinsons 