I hope you like it.
Actually, it’s not a wee poem at all, in fact it is rather a long one, but just a little bit of fun, most of us girls could identify with this I’m sure.
Party Priorities
(Men vs Women)
What is essential, what would you say
Will need to be done for a party day
There’s food to be cooked and placed on the table
The house to be cleaned as much as you’re able
Maybe last minute presents that need to be wrapped
Then changing a nappy because baby crapped
Or changing his clothes, because he’s wet through
And wiping the couch that’s now covered with spew
Then pick up the barrel and put back the blocks
After painfully finding them just wearing socks
There may be a cake that isn’t completed
Will need to be sorted before we can eat it
There’s last minute pots and last minute dishes
And laying the table with food that’s delicious
There’s many a task and this is just some
And most of them seem to land on the Mum
I can’t understand how this came to be
When Dad seems to get off scott free
He seems so relaxed sitting in his best chair
While poor Mother nearly pulls out her hair
For when he gets up and walks out the door
He’s bound to come back and help her for sure?
There’s strange little noises and bangs in the cellar
What can he be doing, this very strange fella?
And then when you know, he’s testing his luck
He out in the yard and he’s washing his truck!
And once he is finished, he doesn’t go far
He then has the cheek to start washing the car
When finally he’s done with his chosen chore
Then we might hope that he help out with more
A barbecue dinner, he’s manning the grill
With all sorts of meats our bellies to fill
Can you butter some bread and bring me the sauce?
You’ll need to make garlic bread also of course
He thinks he is giving his wife a night off
From endlessly cooking for people to scoff
Starts giving instructions for things that he’s needing
As guests all now hungry and waiting for feeding
And bring him some tongs for something is burnt
And keep an eye out, the meat’s not been turned
Please make some salad, we need to have greens
‘Mum’s got the night off!’ he says to the teens
And all of the guests – well mostly the men
Applaud him for making a meal just for them
The ladies, however, I hazard to say
Know who has really been running the day
She fetched and she’s sorted, she’s found and she’s carried
While he gets the praise this bloke that she married
He’s done a great job all the men think as one
Look at the feast that this great man has done
A night off in the kitchen, it’s really not so
The wife in the background does more than you know
And in between helping the one that she wed
There’s babe to get up from their napping in bed
The babe starts it’s crying on starting to wakeup
Then hubby says ‘Why have you not done your makeup?’
She barely had time to scratch her own arse
The night off in the kitchen is really a farse
“No makeup you say, I just haven’t had time”
Don’t say any more, there could be a crime
“What have you been doing? I don’t understand”
He’s taking a risk, she’s a knife in her hand
So, if he now gets the mood of his wife
He best back away if he values his life
And next time, the family come gather to eat
He’d best not start washing his car in the street
The day then descended and went down from there
Car washing on party days just wasn’t fair
She said, “There’s a long list of party chores”
“They weren’t all for me, some should be yours!’
Next time, she says, ‘I’ll give you a list”
And I can sit down and get quietly pissed!!!
© Susan Marie Waight All rights reserved 2024
My journey with Parkinsons 